Update on Mother

I updated Mother's CaringBridge blog this evening, so if you're interested in an update you can find the entry here.

Nick is doing much better after 24 hours on the antibiotic & he is faithful in taking it. Better than I am in taking my potassium.

Sleepin' the day away

I didn't go to bed until 2:30 a.m. last night, but I also didn't get up until 3:45 p.m. I was awakened several times, but just couldn't seem to get up. My head ached ferociously. Finally I got up and took the lexapro. If I don't take it, I feel terrible. I thought maybe the fact that I hadn't had my meds might be causing my headache. I opened a can of Mt. Dew, thinking maybe it was the lack of caffeine. I took ibuprofen, hoping that would help. The ache dulled enough, I could get up.

Yesterday at the wedding the photographer took LOTS of pictures. I know flashes will cause my head to ache, so I tried to not look. I missed a lot of the wedding just because I couldn't look. The photographer hovered taking picture after picture.

I fixed supper. Weird supper, but hey, it was filling & didn't take much to fix.

I'm still really wiped out & my head still aches. I've read my scriptures, checked out my favorite blogs & now I'm ready to go to bed - again.

Saturday, June 6

Just another day in paradise ... not the one Bertie Higgins wrote about, the down & out in the tropics or paradise, but the Phil Vassar lyrics

Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be

there's also a line about the dog barking at the mailman bringing another stack of overdue bills - argh - sometimes I'd like to bark at the mailman :\

But, just a normal day & I'm off to bed. Thank the good Lord for the Internet. Last night I spent 2 and half hours chatting with a friend in Mississippi. Tonight I chatted for a few minutes with a neighbor through the block. She ignored some of my questions, but hey, without Facebook, I would never have talked to either of these wonderful women. Sometimes just through the block is as far away as Mississippi or New York or California. Nor would I have got updates on my baby blogs.

I have this brown spot that just showed up on my arm yesterday, I think I'll have it checked out Monday or Tuesday, looks ominous.

When I went to pick up my meds today my lexapro, normally $90 was only $15!!! Woo hoo, doin' a happy dance.

Nick's golden birthday

Nick turned 22 today on April 22. I told him this morning we both feel better today than we did 22 years ago. He was born C-section & had swallowed a lot of blood. He was one sick little baby & I was one sick mama.

I had an MRI today. Debbie Reese took me to Logan. Debbie works with Don & I in the ward library. She is a nurse at the local hospital & can only be to church every other week. She works this weekend, but she was willing to take me to Logan on one of her days off. She sat with me through the harrowing financial interview. I was told I could apply for financial assistance from IHC, then after I got home I got a message from the financial counselor, or whatever her title is, guess I could look on her business card & see what it actually says. She left a message saying I would have to apply for Medicaid & be denied before I could apply for financial assistance, sigh.

So, this MRI was better than the one I had in the fall of 2000 at McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden. That was in a metal tube & they stuck me in this wall, like a morgue. It was closed off at the bottom & the top. The one today was hard plastic & was open at both ends of the tube. I was wiggling my feet & the tech said the image was blurry was I moving? I said yes I'd been wiggling my toes. The noise wasn't nearly as loud as last time. I think it's because last time I was enclosed in this metal tube. Could be my hearing is so much worse this time than it was 8 years ago. I almost fell asleep today. Last time I was so rattled I couldn't eve remember the first Article of Faith, which is probably the easiest one of all. No, all I could do was recite the 13th Article of Faith over & over. That's the hardest one.

Today they had to inject a contrast in my veins. I told the tech that I could not have it in my left arm & that I only have one good vein in my right arm. He thought he found one on the outside & tried, no luck. He said my one good vein is tough as old leather from scar tissue. He tried lower down. I have 3 pokes, not sure where he finally got it in, but I could feel it as it flowed into my vein, just like the chemo. I had a bad headache the rest of the day. Sure glad I had someone to drive me.

Now, we wait for the results. The tech was walking us down the hall & he asked me how long I'd had this pain in my back. I said I didn't have a pain in my back. The lesion was found through an abdominal x-ray at Instacare because of intense stomach pain. I have had a hard time standing on my feet for years because I'd get a back ache. I've always thought it was bad posture & it could very well be. We'll see.

I was also supposed to have an endoscopy today, but because of the cost & the expectation of paying $150 up front before I could have it, I said no. I already pay almost $300 a month in medical bills from my breast cancer surgeries. I have stopped taking some prescriptions because I cannot afford $322 a month for a script.

We ate at Pizza Villa tonight for Nick's birthday. Mother has such a hard time getting in & out of Don-Mike's new pick up. We took her home & left her in tears because she was hurtng so bad. Don-Mike didn't stay long here. Of course, he'd had the day off & worked really hard in the yard. Nick said Don-Mike had mowed the back yard. I hope he had the riding lawn mower fixed. Last week he tilled the garden. Anyway, Don-Mike said he'd go home & play some games on his X-Box & sit with Nana.

Last birthday until June. Still haven't bought presents for our April birthday people, but hey, we've spent quite a bit on dinners & gas to get to the restaurants the last 2 weeks.

Tax Day 2009

Today, I went in & saw my nurse practitioner, Roxanne Froeher. She is such an awesome lady. She doesn't think the problem is gall bladder. She thinks it is an ulcer. The only time I have the attacks is when I'm empty. I haven't eaten. Usually you have the pain or attack after you've eaten if it's gall bladder. She's sending me in to have an ultrasound at Franklin County Medical Center tomorrow. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight & my appt. is at 10 a.m. I'm so glad it's here at our local hospital. She also gave me some samples of Nexium to try. If it is an ulcer, it will help. If it isn't, it won't hurt.

She's also concerned about the lesion on my spine. It measures about 1" at L1. No wonder my back always hurts when I stand too long. She said she'd call the radiologist in Logan & talk to him about the best option on how to proceed.

I've lost 10 pounds from the last time I saw her in December. Trying to watch the sugar intake. Another 3-5 pounds & I'll no longer be obese!!

I told her that I stopped the femara & crestor because I can't afford them. She told me we would definitely meet our $4K deductible this year,


We took Mother out to dinner for her birthday this evening at Chuck-A-Rama, a buffet in Ogden, Utah. We were all able to ride together in Don-Mike's new extended cab pickup. That's the first time in years, we've been able to all ride in the same vehicle, since the Windstar bit the dirt. well, actually the pavement, LOL, 4 or 5 years ago.

I was very careful of what I ate. Not a lot of fat, no spicy stuff & I only got one little piece of raw onion, LOL Don-Mike saw some no sugar stuff & pointed it out to me. I was a good girl & had the jello & pie. No IBS attack either,

I also questioned Don-Mike about the phone call from Dr. Broadbent. It was not the doctor himself, whew. It was a lady & I was supposed to call back. I assumed I was supposed to call back, but Don had said Dr. B, himself, called, which concerned me. I'm sure they are calling in regards to my calling to let them know that I had stopped taking femara because of the cost.

Here's an article in the New York Time, As Pills Treat Cancer, Insurance Lags Behind that a friend drew my attention to.

I've made the decision, as a lot of people have to, do I take the meds & prolong my life or do I pay my mortgage, utilities & outstanding medical bills & buy food? In my case, we don't even know if the medication will prolong my life. Supposedly, the breast cancer was taken care of with the removal of the lymph nodes, the partial mastectomy; the chemo & the radiation. The femara is to inhibit estrogen. I didn't have the HER2 cancer, mine was estrogen-positive. HER2 is aggressive & has to be treated longer & more aggressively than estrogen-positive. But my decision, after discussion with the Lord, the bishop & my husband, is to pay my mortgage, utility bills & outstanding medical bills.

If I die, we have insurance to cover my funeral expenses. The local morticians are friends of mine. They have explicit instructions of how to lay me out, We don't have insurance to cover my prescriptions until we reach our $4K deductible. I pay $90 for one Rx & take 3 more in the morning & 1 in the evening, for a total of 5 scripts. Besides, we buy Prilosec (for Don & Nick) over the counter & Zyrtec-D (for Nick, I stopped taking that, too) over the counter as they went off patent & insurances no longer cover them. We can get Prilosec for Nick thru Medicaid though, only one dose a day, when the doctor prescribed 2.

I will call Dr. Broadbent's medical assistant tomorrow. Roxanne said she'd call when she gets the report back from FCMC & also when she has talked to radiologist in Logan. Her morning receptionist, Kristy Nelson, is a friend of mine. We go back a long way back. She still remembers when she worked for the local chiropractor that Mother was picking apples & the ladder fell over & Mother hung from a branch in the apple tree until my dad came along & set the ladder up for her. I wasn't living around here then, must have been about 20-25 years ago, if Daddy was still able to get around.

OK, gotta tell you why I'm glad the ultrasound is here in town. My car is in our garage, with no brakes. Don-Mike had the day off & was going to replace them today, but the local NAPA store just sold the rotors for my model of car yesterday. They had to order some for it. I needed wheels, so I'm driving Don-Mike's '89 Trans Am, Nan's Am, around town. No way would I go to Logan in that. I may have to go to the chiropractor after driving it. It was raining today, which turned into snow, rain, snow ... & the T-top was dripping. He hadn't gotten the glass down tight.

Don't know if that was an update, a complaint or just general grousing. Whatever it was, it was rambling, & too many words, LOL.