A Year With Eleanor

I was browsing Pixel of Ink's Part 2 books for December 1 & found a memoir titled: My Year With Eleanor. I was intrigued, but not intrigued enough to buy it. True, it was a hot deal, 84 percent off, which made it only $1.99, but $1.99 can add up, especially if I have budgeted NOTHING for FREE Kindle books. This quote was the basis for the book: 

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
- —Eleanor Roosevelt

 Okay, my word for 2012 was caregiver. I need to be careful of the word I choose for the year. I ended up having to have people care for me for half of it. Now, I'm having a hard time fixing food my mother will eat.

I'll keep thinking about my word for 2013. But I don't think I'll choose either fear or courage.

Brain cell communication

Part of the Ode September 2007 article on omega-3 called Feed Your Brain had a section about brain cells communicating. When I first talked to Nick about why he needed to take meds, I told him his brain cells weren't communicating. He was early teens or still even in the tween stage - 11 or 12. He said, "Oh, you mean my brain cells are blond & the medicine will help them be brunettes?" I laughed & agreed. He has been very good at taking his medicine all these years, but now, at 25, has decided he feels better without them.

Omega-3 foods

How can something like omega-3 have such an impact on behavior & psychological health? Communication between brain cells depend on neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine. Low serotonin levels are associated with an increased risk of suicide, depression & violent behavior. Omega-3 tends to boost the communication of brain cells. The cells tend to talk a lot with each other & make new connections. A process crucial for learning. Less flexible fatty acids than omega-3 do not support the chatter as efficiently.

Ode to fish

At chemotherapy on Wednesday, Nov. 21, one of the ladies told me about an article in a magazine named "Ode." The front cover had a huge headline 

Nature's little helper

(No, it's not Prozac)

What if a simple pill could help depression and violence?  

New research suggests it's already here.

She suggested I read it, so I brought it home & I read it. A pull quote on the first page of the article reads:

The chance of being murdered is 30 times greater in countries where fish consumption is low.

The article stated several studies that have been done using fish oil in half of the participants and a placebo in the other half. The studies have been done in prisons & schools showing the social benefits of a healthier diet. It states, erroneously I think, that 20 years ago no one had heard of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Twenty years ago, ADHD was the first thing a kid was diagnosed with.

Other studies have found that depressed patients and children with ADHD and autism are low in omega-3. In Japan, whose diet is rich in fish, only 0.1 percent suffer from depression. Yes, I looked at that again when I typed it. Manic-depression (bipolar disorder) is rare in Iceland where there is a high intake of fish, but quite common in Brazil and Germany.

The U.S. citizenry is high in omega-6 which isn't as flexible as omega-3. Omega-6 is a by-product of PROCESSED food. The article mentioned a book by David Servan-Schreiber, The Instinct to Heal. The whole article was fascinating. I decided to do a post on it so that I could put the highlights of the article where I could find them again.

I remembered this from part of the article, but almost had to read it again to find it. Dyspraxia, dyslexia, ADHD and autism spectrum disorders overlap considerably. A dyslexic child is offered a special teacher, A kid with dyspraxia is sent to a physical therapist. One with ADHD is prescribed Ritalin (or other designer drugs). And you've got to learn to live with autism.

The article concludes with advice that a multivitamin and mineral supplements are a good "insurance policy" and 500 mg of omega-3 EVERY day is not a bad idea either. They also caution that not all supplements are good supplements.

New background

As usual, it took several tries to find a background image I liked. But here it is:

from the Cutest Blog on the Block. My go-to site for blog backgrounds.

A Sunday Ride

It seems the offer of a Sunday ride will still jump start Odetta. She has not really felt well all week. Today after church Don-Mike & Amber stopped by to see if Mother wanted to go for a ride.

Don-Mike walked in & asked Nana how she was doing. She was sitting slumped in her chair, She told him not very good. At least it wasn't "Terrible," which is her usual response. Don-Mike asked where she wanted to go for a ride.

She perked right up. "I don't know. Where's a good place to go?" Don-Mike suggested going up towards Grace. She readily agreed.

I said she wasn't dressed, but it didn't matter, she could go like she was. I sent her waste basket (to throw up in), a box of tampons (for nose bleeds), a blanket, her water bottle, some Kleenex & her portable oxygen. She wanted to wear her black nylon coat. I said I hoped neither one of them had OCD. Amber said she loves her nylon coat, she likes to rub it. So does Mother, but the rattle of the coat drives me crazy.

My whole life my parents always went for Sunday rides. They both enjoyed them. Even when my dad was so sick, Mother would take him for rides. Now, she still enjoys a ride.

A Color Ride

One of the things I have always wanted to do is spend a week in New England seeing the spectacular fall colors. It was just this week when I finally realized I really don't need to go to New England to see beautiful fall colors. I have seen the changing of the seasons almost my entire life. We go for color rides every fall. We can choose any number of places to view the brightly colored leaves. The reds & oranges are now changing to yellow & the leaves along the main street are now changing. On Wednesday I drove through Sardine Canyon on Wednesday. I almost wished I wasn't driving because I would have liked to have seen the leaves better.

A week ago, Sept. 29, Don took Mother & I for a ride up the Oneida Narrows. A week before that we went up Cub River, clear up to Willow Flat & up Sugar Creek.

Here are some pictures from the Narrows. Don took 15 pictures & I chose 7 to share. I tried to share them in the order taken. I'm not sure what direction we went. I just enjoyed the outing.

Oneida Narrows (80)

Oneida Narrows (81)

Oneida Narrows (85)

Oneida Narrows with the Bear River (94)

Oneida Narrows (97)

Oneida Narrows (104)

Coming out of the Narrows into Mink Creek. It's hazy, but the mountains
in the distance are covered with colored leaves also. (107)

I realize we have had a dry summer & the leaves would be brighter if we had had more moisture, but I still enjoyed the outing.

Picnic

Yesterday, I posted this on Facebook:

My summer just kind of disappeared this year. This afternoon we are going up the canyon for a picnic, the first for me this year. Can't wait.

It was the first time I had been up the canyon this year. It was so nice to be out. We went to Willow Flat. I ♥ it up there. That was the last place I went before I left on my mission almost 40 years ago.

I was excited & hoped I wouldn't get sick. The food was delicious and I ate too much. I got soooo sick. I went to the car, took my eme-bag (barf bag) out of my purse & sat there with my stomach cramping.

The leaves are starting to turn, but it is soooo dry. It was nice, but then clouded up & random raindrops started falling just as we were finishing. We didn't get our watermelon. Not that I would have been able to eat it if we did.

Some things never change: like forgetting mustard & ketchup. I actually thought of it, but didn't stop & get it out of the fridge.

Nick didn't feel good yesterday after we ate, Don woke up in the night, Don-Mike had diarrhea all day. I don't know if Amber got sick. Mother didn't seem to, but today she is not feeling well. The home health nurse came & took her vitals & sat & talked for a few minutes. Everything checked out okay. I think it was the smoke from the bon fire & she didn't have her oxygen with her at the table, only in the car. I should be more conscientious, but I wasn't.

Simple Mom

In my last blog entry I stated I had discovered pinterest.com . So, tonight, trying to track down a pin with only a picture, which I hate with a passion, I discovered a blog called Simple Mom. Wow! She even has a podcast. I may have to break down & discover podcasts. I've been resisting them.

Tsh Oxenreider. It’s pronounced “Tish.” She explains her parents "were experimental with their name choices in the '70s." Kind of like Koltn Burbank, author of The Fiddle of Fire. Tsh also has several books. She has been blogging for several years, not sure what several means, but it looks like I've got some reading to do. I put the URL on my blog list so I can find it again.

No, I didn't find the pin I wanted, but did find one close enough. I'll leave the picture pin.

Chemo Round 1

Today was my last day of round 1 of chemo. Now, I have 2 weeks off. I go back the first week of October September & we will re-evaluate. My port was de-accessed after chemo today. Yesterday was the last day of IV therapy after 5-1/2 weeks & the drain was pulled from my back. I can finally have a shower! Woo hoo!!! I have not had a shower since the last of July. Dr. Beckstead told me I could go swimming if I want to. LOL. He hasn't seen me in a swimming pool. I drop like a rock.

Mother had her pacer checked yesterday. She has from one to 9 months left on the battery. I wish they'd just replace it & get it over with, especially since she is totally dependent on it.So, here is where the first week of October comes in. Her next check is the first week of October.

Oh, & I have discovered pinterest.com How addicting is that? Very addicting, hehe, & I LOVE it.

Choose to be offended

It was the ward party tonight & Don went by himself. He said when he got to the roast beef the server gave him a few scraps & asked if he wanted more. I said it obviously wasn't Nate serving. Then when he was getting plates for Nick, Mother & I, some guy said sarcastically, "Well, I won't pretend I'm eating for two." Don responded something about getting food for 3. He didn't know either one of the men. I hate to go to ward functions anymore since the ward boundaries have been changed. It's like we're still two different wards.

As I think about it, I can choose to be offended, which I was. But some people are just natural bumblers.

On the bright side, Jim & Donna, Keith & Onda met here & visited. They took Mother & Luana with them to Big J's for lunch. I slept through most of their visit because I felt so crappy. Don-Mike was so busy, he didn't see them.

Another Sunday

Don-Mike & Amber fixed Sunday dinner this week. What a treat! Don-Mike grilled chicken tenders, they had corn on the cob, baked beans & the Dutch oven-style potatoes were to die for. Don came & got Mother & I & took us down to the house for dinner.

I had started the fevers & bloating again & so, even though it was a delicious dinner, I was absolutely miserable. All I wanted to do was come home before I embarrassed myself by throwing up what I had eaten. I didn't throw up, but it was close.

Don-Mike enjoyed showing Mother the changes he has made to the house. It will be SOOO nice when he is finished. Actually, Amber & her mother has helped, Don & Nick have pitched in, Ian Porter has been down to help too.

Sunday dinner

It was so nice to have Sunday dinner with the whole family together again. Nick, Don-Mike & Amber were all here. Don fixed a nice turkey roast. We had cake & ice cream for dessert but we were all too full to have any.

I like to sit down to eat together as a family at least once a week. Sometimes that is the only time we see everyone.

Update

After 2 weeks in Salt Lake at St. Mark's Hospital, 2 weeks in Franklin County Medical Center, I am finally back to rooming with Mother on North State. I've been home a week. This is the first time I've been on the computer since I signed off in May.

My aunt Luana stays with us at night, feeds us, helps us as needed. I am so grateful for her & for Don.

Yesterday we stopped at the Bishop's Storehouse to pick up an order. Don took me in to the storehouse & parked me in the wheelchair. I sat there & when Don was finished, he came around & said he'd put the groceries away & come & get me. I said fine. The man who had been helping him said, "Can't you do anything for yourself?" That statement irritated me. I said, "No. I can't do anything for myself. I can't even wipe my own butt!." He said, "Oh." & walked off.

I sat there for a minute thinking how rude he was. What does it matter whether I can do anything for myself? I have a loving family that doesn't seem to mind they have to wipe my butt, change the dressing on my belly, do all the personal things one usually takes for granted -- like a bath.

The eve of

my great adventure. I leave in the morning for Salt Lake City. I'm very antsy. I've been postponing several things, but can't postpone some of them any longer. Like pre-registering at St. Mark's Hospital. I don't know who, if any one, reads my blog, but I've set up a private page on Facebook for Don to post updates. The insurance company authorized a 3-day stay. The letter said 5/27 which is Sunday.

The beginning

One of my favorite movies is The Sound of Music. Maria begins teaching the children to sing & finally starts singing:

Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
When you read you begin with A-B-C
When you sing you begin with do-re-mi

Five years after my breast cancer diagnosis, we were finally getting out from under the financial burden (I thought), only to trudge back into the tunnel, still with thousands of dollars of bills outstanding. I haven't had a mammogram for almost 2 years.We have to spend $3,500 per person or $8,000 per family before our insurance kicks in to pay anything. Cache Valley Specialty Hospital is still pursuing us. I have 4 new summons from a law firm in Cache County.

I have been bleeding vaginally since before Christmas. I waited for the new plan year to start on January 1 & then waited another 4 weeks to make an appointment.for Jan. 29 with my nurse practitioner (Nurse Practitioners of Preston or NPP) for a physical.

To be continued...

More cancer

The title of my last entry was quite appropriate, Blog for Sale. I have been trying to decide whether to start a new blog, horn in on Mother's Caring Bridge blog, use this blog or one of my other blogs. Another option is not to make a record of my latest cancer diagnosis at all.

I have stage 2 ovarian cancer. Now, I can hear the groans, "Cancer!!" Read the statement again. I have STAGE 2 ovarian cancer. STAGE 2! Stage 2 is still ovarian cancer, but it's not late Stage 3 or early Stage 4 when it is too late. There is a better chance at Stage 2.

I called all of my mother's sisters & told them. I told the last aunt I called that was the last personal phone call I was making. I didn't care who she told. My family & my mother knew. My employer knows.

Nick was in the car when I hung up & said with a laugh in his voice, "What? You're not going to announce it on Facebook?" He was being cheeky. I said, "No. I'm going to face it, not Facebook it." I've been struggling with going public with this. Public as in blogging about it.But then, if it is all in one place, I won't have to keep repeating myself.

I took Don out to the Preston Cemetery to break the news to him. It was the day I found out for sure I had more cancer, April 10, 2012. We didn't know much more than that at the time. I decided, with the wedding coming up, I was not going to actively pursue treatment. Don said, "I think we've discussed this before." I replied we certainly had discussed it before, I was just refreshing his memory.

I no longer want the epitaph, "I told you I was sick." Back in 2001, when I went in to have the acoustic neuroma removed, I told him I wanted "I told you I was sick." on my headstone. I had said for years I had a brain tumor & no one believed me. Of course, it wasn't a "brain" tumor, but it was a tumor & it had popped out of the ear canal & was pressing on the brain stem.

So, what color of awareness ribbon stands for ovarian cancer? According to Wikipedia, it shares the teal ribbon with a dozen other diseases & causes. It's definitely not as well known as breast cancer's  pink ribbon.

Blog for sale

I definitely need my eyes examined. I've known this for several months. Today I was waiting for a traffic light & through the intersection there was this 2-story building with a huge banner on it:

BLOG for SALE or LEASE

Below that in some indistinct red letters was a word & then in a larger size was a phone number. I couldn't read the numbers, they weren't big enough for me to see at that distance. I knew it was a phone number because there was a series of 3 numbers, beginning with a 4, a dash, 3 more numbers with a 1 in there somewhere, another dash & then 4 more numbers. Utah's area code, except in the middle of the state, begins with 4. I sat there waiting for the light to change & thought it was weird someone was trying to sell a blog. And of course, as I sat there processing this, I realized the O was a D. What it REALLY said was

BLDG for SALE or LEASE

Okay, that makes sense: bldg not blog. With my hearing loss, I mishear a lot of things, but now I can't even read the large print.

Ambiguity

Sunday I went to Sacrament Meeting because Don said the choir was going to sing. It was a new song, And the Father Will Dance. Both Don & Don-Mike sing in the choir. Since Don & I are the ward librarians, we spend class time in the library & I always take something to do in the library, because it gets boring sometimes.

Sunday I had grabbed a notepad to make some notes for next year's DUP. I am the captain for the next 2 years & I want to send a letter to all of the members of our camp. The first speaker was Abbey Child. Abbey is a senior in high school & the youngest child of Robert & Karen Child. I have known Karen since she was a baby. I remember her dad getting up in Fast & Testimony meeting telling about her being born. She says she is sure it was her younger brother Forrest, because I would only have been 5 when she was born. But Karen has been our visiting teacher & now we are Karen's visiting teachers.

Anyway, Abbey was talking about things her mother has taught her. She said her mother has taught her the four CTR's.

1. Choose the Right
2. Choose the Redeemer
3. Choose to Read
4. Choose to Remember

I thought how profound they were & had to write them down. So, I wasn't prepared to take notes. I did have a notepad in my lap, but needed to find a pen or pencil, anything to write it down with, barring sticking my finger with the safety pin in the handle of my purse & writing it in blood. After I found the writing utensil, I hurriedly wrote 3 things down, but didn't get the fourth R written before I had forgotten it. I listened to the rest of her talk, then after she sat down, I wrote a note to Don, "What was the fourth R?"

He thought a minute, then grinned & said, "Remember." Argh!! He was right! It WAS remember! I could have taken his answer as telling me to think & remember what it was, rather than, "Here is the answer, 'Remember.'"

It reminded me of  a joke I heard recently of a blonde trying to find out what the texting acronym IDK stood for. She asked everyone & always got the same answer, "I Don't Know." Rather than understanding that was the answer, she reached a breaking point & cried, "That does it! Nobody knows."

Another time I had read a trivia question that I wanted to share. I KNEW Don would know it. I take things very literally - sometimes. I asked Don, "What is the #1 quoted line in movie history?" Again, he thought a minute, grinned & said, "This could be taken two ways, but, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'"

One view of Don-Mike's reception

Don-Mike & Amber's reception was Saturday, May 5, at the Whitney Church. About 5 o'clock, I ran into town to see if I could find the paper I had bought for the guest book. We'd been there since 2 p.m. My idea was to have people sign square pieces of paper & then put those papers in a scrapbook with pictures from their engagement, wedding & reception.

Burkley Balzar & one of Audrey's girls at the guest table ~ Photo by Melissa Owen Bodily

 ~

So, I missed the first part of the reception. It started at 6. Luckily I had purple & navy blue cards to start out the reception. I brought lime green & white paper when I came back.

When I got there, some of the first people I saw were Grant Douglas Morgan, Kim Morgan Yamashita & their 3 adorable children, Noah, Isabel & Ben.

Isabel, Kim & Ben Yamashita. Behind Kim is Carl Cordingly. Behind Ben is my uncle Jim Anderson, sitting with Keith & Onda Taylor & Donna Anderson. In the line, far right corner is Don-Mike.

 I snagged the picture above from Kim's blog  The next two pictures are also from Kim's blog.

Isabel took this picture of Mother (Grandma Detta) & Kim & Grant with Kim's phone. It's a little blurry, but not bad.

Grandma Detta with Noah Morgan, Ben & Isabel Yamashita. Kim notes that Isabel is wearing her Easter outfit.

Noah stood up next to me & he is almost as tall as I am & he is only 8!!

New look behind the scenes

Wow! There is a new look behind the scenes. I almost forgot what I was going to write about!!

Today I finally decided I needed to get the invitations for Don-Mike's wedding mailed out, there are only so many days left. Don-Mike & I went down this morning & picked up most of his temple clothing. He & Amber will be going to the temple on Friday.

Back in January one of the clerks at the post office told me there were new mother-in-law stamps this year. It's the Chinese year of the dragon. We laughed. Don-Mike & Amber had just got engaged & I said when it came time to send out the invitations, I'd come in & buy some.

Eldon (Wilcox) was not at the post office today. I told the 2 ladies behind the counter I wanted to buy some mother-in-law (MIL) stamps. One clerk picked right up on it & quietly explained to the other clerk as she got a sheet out. I was surprised when she told me $5.40 for the sheet of stamps because there are only 12 stamps on a sheet. Stamps are 45 cents now. I can remember when they cost just pennies.

I asked them to tell Eldon I had bought some mother-in-law stamps. They said it will be a long time before they see him again. He is out with some health problems. I said I'd send him a get well card & let him know I got the MIL stamps.

It is so hard to say anything without hurting feelings. I don't know what his problem is. If he is battling cancer or some form of debilitating disease, ... If he will soon recuperate & be back to work ... or not. I referred to the Scott Krippayne song about God sometimes calming the storm & sometimes calming His child.

Sunday was a day of those uncomfortable situations. A missionary is home from his mission early. What do you say? A hug, only to discover he is painfully thin. A couple in the ward just lost a baby, born way too early , not even 24 weeks, yet she lived an hour and a half. I tried expressing my sympathy to the father & felt like I should have kept my mouth shut. An interview with the Relief Society president sitting in the back of the chapel with one of my ladies sitting in the foyer, probably hearing everything I said.

We went to dinner at the Texas Road House on Sunday for Nick's birthday. Don-Mike said one of his co-workers passed judgement on him yesterday at work. "You went out to dinner on Sunday & you're getting married in the temple?" Don-Mike said he felt like telling him we had an ox in the mire. There is no other time we can go out to dinner as a family. I told him in the scriptures it is not an ox stuck in a mire, it is an ass in a pit (Luke 14:5).

So, I just googled the phrase, "ox in a mire," & found a blog entry that I really like titled When Is Your Ox in the Mire? Here are a couple of wonderful comebacks.

So, the next time you are caught in a questionable Sunday activity, just say, “Sorry, bishop.  My ass was in a pit.  This was just one of those “ass in a pit” situations.”

A tribute to autism

This is a powerful video I want to share:

Glimpse of autism

I found another blog to follow & added the button at the bottom of the side bar on the left right. I found the blog through an article shared on Facebook by my friend Terri.

The article, A heart shattered by a glimpse into autism by Rob Giorski, is a heart breaker. It's too late to check it out further, so ... true to the Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome ... here it is for another day.

Nick was a little concerned this morning when he read Tax Day was yesterday, April 15. He wanted to make sure I had sent his grocery credit off. I told him I had another day, which relieved him, but tomorrow I will have run out of time & I will not have another day.

Backgrounds

I had a hard time deciding what kind of background I wanted for my blog. Wedding? Don-Mike & Amber's wedding is coming up in 3 weeks. Birthday? Our April birthdays got jump started this year with Amber's birthday in March. Spring? After all, it is spring.

I chose spring. It was supposed to snow today, but so far, it is just rain. I can deal with rain. I live in a semi-arid climate, I know moisture is of paramount importance.

Yesterday was a glorious spring day. The sun was shining, it was warm & the sky was blue. I took Mother for a ride up Cub River Canyon. We only got as far as Albert Moser Campground before we turned around. The road hadn't been graded & the road was bumpy, much too bumpy for my poor, sore tummy. The road had some serious speed bumps too. I was driving sedately (Don's word), but the car was still kicking up dust. Dust & smoke is not good for Mother's asthma. Someone was burning at Deer Cliff Inn.

Now, I need to concentrate some effort on bills & my personal web site. The personal web site still has a snow scene as the background, as well as the Valentine's mailbox I mentioned the other day.

Don-Mike & Amber's wedding invitations came today. I probably should be addressing envelopes, now I have an invitation to make sure I get the right size of envelope.

A draft for all to see

I was ready to sit down & paper the kitchen in 15 minutes* & then the kids came over. Don-Mike played a favorite song for Amber, we sat & talked about life & death (90 Minutes in Heaven) & by the time I sat down again, I forgot what I had been going to write.

I started shutting down the many open tabs I always have on the computer & found what had led me to make my first entry. Yes, I forgot. I was interrupted & didn't paper the kitchen. Here is the passage. I want to be able to find it again.

"I would if I projected myself into the future like that." We were sitting in Sister Nancy's office. "Here we look for what God's doing right now, in each life this very day. That's where God is for all of us, you know — not in the goal but in the passing moments of the journey. Here we celebrate the little victories."

Guideposts.org from Elizabeth Sherrill Returns to Holy Angels

---

*A phrase I gleaned from a Jessamyn West (I think) book many years ago.

Catching up

Here it is April 10 & I still have shamrocks for St. Patrick's Day on this blog; a Valentine's Day mailbox on my personal web site AND a picture of The Book of Mormon & the Bible with "Reading The Book of Mormon for Lent." Would you say I'm a little behind?? Ya, so would I. But tomorrow's another day, a la Scarlett O'Hara.

Today would have been Don's mother's 83rd birthday. We went for a ride out north of town today. He had remembered today was his mom's birthday. My brother Eldon was born March 12 & died March 24, 1949. He was 12 days old.

It's a work night

I have to work tomorrow, so why am I still up at 12:32??? The kids (DM/A) are here, I've got a kitchen full of dishes that need to be done & I don't sleep well at night. So... that's a reason to stay up??? Nah. I don't think so.

Last night I was up until 3:40. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone. I was reading a book & it wasn't the scriptures.

Don & I text each other every night. Sounds funny huh? Did you know we are separated? Not legally. Just that I live with Mother across town & Don lives at our house. He told someone that I went home to Momma.

They (Don-Mike & Don) have started tearing into the downstairs. It looks funny with no furniture, pieces of carpet pulled up & bare studs. Amber's been helping.

Remind me I need to get the money so they can start buying materials to finish it. Don said when they tore into the walls, the space between the walls went right down into the crawl space. Mother said it wasn't constructed very well. Don said no that wasn't what he was saying. Back in the early 1900s they weren't concerned about insulating the walls.

Streets safe in Preston??

I went to the doctor again yesterday, Friday. This time to Dr. Beckstead. Again, my blood pressure was high, 152/80.

Last week the mill in Preston burned. Don-Mike & Nick got some good pictures, but they're on THEIR computers. I told them I needed them to put them here on the blog. But, I found another blog to share who has some great pictures of both the mill fire & the cougar caught behind the U&I Furniture in Preston, complete with quite a good story on the cougar. Here's another source also, The Preston Citizen. You'll need to dig a little on the Citizen website to find the mill fire, but it's there.

Life goes on

I entered a comment on one of the blogs I follow & then needed to type two words to prove I am not a robot. It used to be one word & now it's two, sigh.

I am definitely not a robot. I went to the doctor the other day & when the nurse took my blood pressure it was 153/80. Wow! That is high for me. My blood pressure usually runs 110/60. The nurse asked if I had a headache. I responded with yes, quite a bad one. Well, she said, that's probably the reason. I took my blood pressure medication that morning, but my blood pressure seems to be running a bit high lately.

Four of the many cars at our house.

Tonight it ran a little high as Nick & Don-Mike decided to have a face off with their cars.The cars are, left to right, Don's car is the dark green Pontiac; Don-Mike's cars are the 2 middle ones, the bright green Camaro & the dark blue Trans Am; Nick's car is the bright red Corvette. The race tonight was between the Camaro & the 'Vette.I didn't realize they were going to do it until Amber voiced her concern & then I had this very sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. OMG!!! Yes, that is just what they were going to do. How stupid is that? It's Sunday night & it's after dark. The cops are out patrolling on Sunday night. And what happens if they get in a wreck?  What if an animal darts out in front of them?? What happens if Don-Mike is killed or injured just before he gets married & Amber is a widow before she ever gets married?

There is a more than one reason I relate to Molly Weasley, Ron Weasley's mom from the Harry Potter series. But the big one is I've always had a fear of my sons dying.

The guys got back, Don came in & said the Camaro won. Oh great, I sarcastically thought, just what Nick needs.

Earlier tonight the captain from my Daughters of Utah Pioneers camp called. They are going to call for nominations from the floor again on Tuesday to see if they can get someone for captain. I thought that was the day the new officers were supposed to be sworn in. Why didn't she just come out & tell me when we supposedly had our nominating committee meeting that she didn't want me to be captain, instead of telling me they are going to try & get someone to be captain Tuesday. I do not even want to be in this camp anymore. If it weren't because Mother has another year or two before she has been a member of the DUP for 50 years, I'd drop out now. I was so upset I wanted to sit there & cry. Oh well, I had supper to finish fixing. I almost scorched my gravy though. And I took my glasses off & set them down on the table in the car port & couldn't find them. Don found them when he went out to get the report of the race.

I just want to sit here & bawl. Oh, well, the dishes have to be done & life goes on.

New wedding date

New wedding date is May 4 in the Logan LDS Temple. Don-Mike & Amber are taking the temple preparation classes with Nate & Sydney Hale & Jay & Gale Hansen on Sunday evenings at 5.

Don-Mike has moved into the new addition, leaving Mother & I here alone. He comes over & spends a little while after work here with Amber

We found ties at Deseret Book. The clerk was so nice. His name is Kevin Anderson. His father's name is Jim Anderson from Tremonton. Not my uncle Jim. His parents are Jim & Betty Anderson. His father was a bishop in Tremonton. I wondered if Uncle Jim & his father were bishops at the same time. Jim was also a branch president in the nursing home in Tremonton a few years ago.

Anyway, he found 3 adult ties for us at the Deseret Book in Denver & 2 adult ties & 1 youth tie for us at the Deseret Book in Riverdale, Utah. I'll call Kim & Terri & see if they will pick them up for us.

Lent 2012

So, I've been wondering when Ash Wednesday is this year. I asked last night & my aunt Luana said she didn't know. She asked me the same question I get every year when I say I'm going to read The Book of Mormon for Lent. You're not Catholic, why do you even celebrate Lent? I don't "celebrate" Lent, I "observe" it.

In the Roman Catholic Church, Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, the season of preparation for the resurrection of Jesus Christ on Easter Sunday.

 This year, as I have done for the last few years, I will read The Book of Mormon beginning on Ash Wednesday. Feb. 22. I will again try to finish it by Easter Sunday, April 8. April General Conference will be held March 31 and April 1. The Young Women conference will be held March 24.

I always feel like I'm unprepared - for anything.

Anger is a secondary emotion

I KNOW anger is a secondary emotion. I haven't arrived at that point yet, I'm just sick to my stomach, frustrated, irritated & ready to cry.

Amber's mother is now pushing for a civil ceremony on March 15 & then they can be married next year in the temple. Come on!! Whose wedding is this anyway??? Amber asked me tonight if Don & I were all right with them waiting & getting married in the temple on May 4. Of course, we're all right with it. I told her I'd be very disappointed if they didn't get married in the temple.

I had all these dreams for my boys. They would both earn their Eagle Scout rank, graduate from high school, serve full-time missions & be married in the temple. So 1 out of 8 ain't bad. Well, the marriages haven't taken place, so maybe I should've said 1 out of 6 ain't bad. Neither of them earned their Eagles, served full-time missions & although Don-Mike graduated from high school, he didn't get to walk with the graduates. The counselor didn't make sure he finished his online course & 2 hours before graduation, the principal & counselor show up at my door telling me my son will not walk. Nick dropped out of school, which is a whole 'nother story.

How do you explain a civil ceremony after they've already announced to the world they are getting married in the temple? Doesn't that make it look like they were sexually active, when in reality Don-Mike hasn't been a full tithe payer??

If they cave to Amber's mother, I will be angry, seeringly angry. (Is there such a word as seeringly? If there isn't, I just made it up.) Maybe I'll go talk to our bishop tomorrow after the block.

Set back

Even the best laid plans of mice & men often go awry, paraphrasing Robert Burns. Don-Mike came home from an appointment with his bishop tonight saying the bishop strongly recommends pushing the wedding back to June. Don-Mike hasn't been a faithful tithe payer. Don-Mike said he immediately felt relief.

I sat them down a few nights ago, the night I took the picture with my phone (which Amber's mom didn't like me posting on Facebook). Anyway, I told them the place was more important than the time. They both agreed & tonight Don-Mike told his bishop what I had said. The bishop said it couldn't be said any plainer than that. Don-Mike, of course, reminded me of that when I expressed my disappointment in having the wedding pushed back to June.

As Don-Mike pointed out, the invitations haven't been printed. The tablecloths have been ordered, but, of course, they can be canceled. They are not here yet.

Right brained?

I took a test to determine whether I'm right-brained or left brained and here are the results:

Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others. Left Brain Dominance: (6) Right Brain Dominance: (10) Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz

So, what does it all mean? I googled right brain/left brain & took this quiz, which is pretty much the same as the above quiz:

You Are 45% Left Brained, 55% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

Hmmmm, oooooooo-kay

Don-Mike's engaged

Don-Mike and Amber

We are so excited to welcome Amber Hayes into our family. Amber grew up next door to us. They moved into the house north of us when Amber was 10. I think it was earlier, because Amber would have been 10 in 1992. Daddy died in May of '92. They already lived there when Daddy died. Amber remembers 10. We moved to Preston in 1995. It was going to be a short sojourn, but almost 17 years later, we are still here.

Mother & Daddy, Mother's parents, Fred & Jennie Porter, & Don & I were all married on Dec. 15 in the Logan LDS Temple. This year December 15 fell on a Thursday. Mother & I decided we were going out to dinner to celebrate our anniversaries. I told Don-Mike, who had a rare Thursday off, he was welcome to join us unless he had a date. Mother said he could bring his date. I was scandalized. "Mother! You don't bring a date to a family dinner unless it's Amber ... or (my brain was racing frantically. I couldn't think of anyone else I would be comfortable with.) ... Amber. You don't bring just anyone to a family dinner."

A couple of hours later, Don-Mike & Amber show up to pick up Mother & I in Don's car. Oooo-kay! I thought back to our earlier conversation & thought it was nice he had brought Amber. I love Amber. I seriously wondered if it was date, but ... wasn't sure. It's best not to assume when you aren't sure.

Mother & I sat in the back seat. We met Don & Nick at the Golden Corral. They went down in Nick's Corvette. After dinner, Nick wanted Don-Mike to go with him. Don-Mike didn't & Nick stormed out. Don said he didn't start talking until they were almost to Richmond.

As soon as Nick & Don left, Don-Mike jumped up & said, "I'm on a date! You don't just walk off & leave a DATE!" Amber & I looked at each other. "Oh! It IS a date!"

Their next date was a movie night at our house. Don-Mike rearranged the front room so the couch (love seat) is in front of the TV so they could sit together. By the end of the evening, Don-Mike had his arm around her. I put Mother to bed & I hissed, "Mother! He's got his arm around her!" Mother said, "I saw that. I've got to get my temple recommend so I can go to the temple with them."

He spent Christmas Eve with Amber's family. They went to a party at Ian & Heather Porter's on New Year's Eve & stayed out til 5 A.M. They were in good company though. Besides Ian & Heather, there was Mike & Natasha Porter & Ian's brother Cord. And, of course, the babies. Ian & Heather's daughter Xandi & Mike & Tasha's son Dominic.

Don-Mike had big plans of how he was going to ask Amber to marry him. I told him Bill Fish had asked Gwen to marry him by pushing a conversation heart that said, "Marry me." to her plate at the Senior Center dinner on Valentine's Day. Don-Mike said he was going to buy a heart-shaped pizza with "Marry me." on it. In the end he just blurted it out. Amber said he looked through all the conversation hearts she had given him, but couldn't find what he wanted.

I told Don-Mike when we talked about how to ask her to marry him that he didn't have to wait until Dec. 15 to get married. The place is more important than the date. The original date was June 15. They moved it up to March 15, which is a Thursday, & the reception will be Friday, March 16, in the Preston 1st, 5th & 8th Ward building.

Mother & Amber have always had a special bond. As have Mother & Don-Mikel. It's a good thing, because they will move in with Mother, here at 425 N. State until we can get the house finished on First East.

Caregiver

My word for 2012 is CAREGIVER. Okay, so I wasn't very original choosing my word for 2012, but this is where I am right now. I am a caregiver. I seriously considered "be there" even though it isn't one word. I thought of "present" instead of "be there," but ... present wasn't quite what I wanted. And yes, I prayed about my word to live by for 2012 & caregiver is the only word that would stay in my mind.

Word for 2012

Last January I read a Debbie Macomber book called "Thursdays at Eight." I loved it & suggested in the Goodreads Debbie Macomber group we pick a word for 2011. I chose the word resolution. I wrote:

I'm thinking resolution as in a solution, settling of a problem, coming to terms with my life.

How did I do in using my word to help me in 2011? I  THINK the foreclosure is resolved. We are at least working at it. The second half of the year, the months I have spent here at Mother's, was a solution, of sorts. I did not want Mother in the nursing home, so my move was part of my solution. But it still isn't "resolved." We are not HOME.

I have spent a lot of time since I've been over here thinking of the purpose of life. The months trying to get my medications on an even keel made me feel like I was thrashing around in a wilderness. Benchmarks are good. This foray wasn't as bad as some in years past, but ... does it help when you are in the midst of the angst???

I haven't made a choice on a word to live by this year. I'm still thinking.

Last year, after having this "Scathingly Brilliant Idea!!!", I found from reading a cousin's daughter's blog, she, the daughter, does this every year. She chose nurture for 2010 and joy for 2011. I was curious as to what word she would choose this year. She has chosen strength.

I made it to Sacrament Meeting yesterday. Yes, it is noteworthy because I have a very hard time getting up early enough to go to Sacrament Meeting when our meeting schedule is at 9 a.m. Yesterday was the first day of our new schedule: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. I got up at 10:15, chopped up some vegetables, threw them in the crockpot & made it to church.

Liz Child was the first speaker & she was amazing. She said she didn't have anything written, but she said we need to keep our priorities so the gospel is first, relationships (including family), education (learning) & then health. Shannon Knapp spoke also. She said as we set goals, they need to be measurable, written & checked often.

I wrote my word down, discussed it in January & then forgot it. It was a word that could be measured, it was written, but it wasn't checked often.

I just brought Mother home from the hospital today. She went in Friday, 12/30/11, & came home today, 1/2/12.