Moving in May

FlyLady's habit for May is going to be moving for 15 minutes a day.

We are going to have a virtual walk around the world visiting 89 countries that represent where FlyLady members are from.

Am I ready for this? This means not only am I going to have to walk or exercise for 15 minutes a day, but check into my FlyLady account, sigh. The arch of my left foot hurts. It could be plantar fascitis. I'm not going to the doctor or the nurse practitioner to check on it. I've been wearing some support on that foot & it helps. I'm also trying not to wear the shoes that caused it. I will definitely try moving or exercising.

Here's an update on making the bed every day. It has been done. Maybe some days it's not as neat as it could be, but the covers are pulled up, the CPAP reservoir has been filled and my pillow has been fluffed. It's kind of hard to make a bed with cats piled on it. We walk by the bedroom & check to see how many cats are on the bed & who they are, LOL.

Bedtime, I'm still trying to do this, it's still around midnight, but not nearly as late as it used to be.

We're watching American Idol tonight. I like Kris. I still don't have a favorite this season. I was so disappointed last year when David Cook won & not David Archuleta. I'm afraid Adam Lambert will win, but then he's good, so why not?

I just found out today one of my online friends died in FEBRUARY!! And we just found out!!! The good news is she didn't die alone and we found out. It's just that I've known this lady for almost 10 years & even though we didn't email every day, we could go for months, usually my fault for not staying connected. She would reach out to me & now she's gone & I didn't even realize I hadn't heard from her for a while. Of course, now I'm worrying about Junior, her cat. She lived alone, what about the cat & the rabbit in the back yard? Mother thinks the cat was probably turned loose.

Good news & bad news

Good news first, results of the MRI show that the lesion on my spine has not metastasised. It is NOT cancer. It is a "bone window." In other words, the bone is much thinner than the bones around it. I actually have 2 bone windows on L1.

I'm still not going to have the endoscopy nor am I going to have gall bladder surgery right now. I will not go under general anesthetic willingly. I realize I'm playing Russian roulette, but ... isn't general anesthetic a form of Russian roulette too? You go into surgery feeling fine & come out sick. One can die of complications from surgery. Seven surgeries in one year is enough to bankrupt a person financially & emotionally. My surgeries were actually within an 8 month period, that's an average of one surgery a month. I will take prilosec daily for my stomach problems before I'll go under general anesthetic again. I'm just starting to feel better.

Now, for the bad news. This isn't really my news, but I'm just sick. Eddie is on his way to detention. They were going to make him walk to Pocatello! Walk!! Who do they think we are & who do we talk to about protection from parole officers?

I listened

I listened to the still small voice today. Eddie, our foster son, Nick's best friend, a friend's son, has been on probation for a long time now. He AND his mother are facing jail time if he misses an assignment in school. He has a really hard time with executive function. He is severely ADHD, has some Asperger's & probably bipolar disorder on top of everything. He was held back a year in high school, so is a year behind others his age.

One of the hints that I was given when Nick was in high school was to get a zippered binder & organize it so that EVERYTHING goes in the binder, EVERYTHING.

I looked at Wal-Mart, even the simple binder like Nick has is $15 now. I've looked other places, like online, $45 on Flylady.net; $13 plus shipping & handling on another site. So, today at work, I walked out into the book store to see if there were any zippered binders. There weren't any. I knew I could order one, but decided I'd check at King's & see if they had any.

As I was leaving work I decided I'd stop at King's on my way home. "Check at the D.I.," kept niggling at the back of my mind. I'm thinking, "Ya, right. If you go into the D.I. looking for something, you never find it." I got out onto State Street & there was a perfect parking place right in front of the D.I. I thought that would work, I'd run into the D.I., check to see if they had a zippered binder, then could walk out the back door, across the parking lot to the back door of King's & out the front door to my car.

I never made it to King's. Almost immediately I found a zippered binder. It looked brand new, like it had never been used. The tags inside were still crisp. It was black with a big Jack Skellington face on the front. Ed loves skeletons. They are his signature. I see a skeleton & automatically think of Eddie. The binder was $2!!! Something like that would have been $19-29 new, if I could still find something like that around here.

Eddie loved it. I hope he uses it. I may have to get some dividers for him. But I'm so glad I listened.

TGIF

I logged in to our bank account last night & found out that the government had saved our butts to the tune of $88!! Woo hoo! Utah State income tax refund had shown up on Tuesday & the federal refund had shown up on Wednesday! Then our car insurance will come out on Monday & we would have been in serious doo doo! We get paid NEXT Thursday. As it was, four transactions had cleared. Besides the amounts of the transactions, a $22 service charge would have been deducted. Mother's bank is $35 for an overdraft.

I'm so glad it's Friday. I went in to work today & announced I could only stay an hour. When asked why, I said that I had worked 14 hours on Monday & Tuesday & that only gave me one hour I could work today. Instead, I worked 4 hours, sigh.

No news on my MRI yet. I guess I'll wait til Monday & forget to call.

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

When I posted this quote, I think I was going to explain it later, but never have. This was given during one of the workshops in the Hospice Conference (it is a conference for both home health & hospice) I attended in February. It looks like I didn't write a lot about the conference. It was spread out over 2 weeks with 5 days of workshops. This is the third year I have attended & love it. It helps a lot & I've learned a lot.

The quote was given by a professor from Utah State University during a workshop on spirituality. I decided perhaps this is the reason I've survived so many things. I definitely have lots of whys to live. I don't know if I could survive a holocaust or prisoner of war camp though. Even the trek across the plains, but then would I have been brave enough to listen to the missionaries & join the (LDS) Church to EVEN make the trek? I've always been grateful that I live in this period of time in the earth's history with all of the medical breakthroughs. I probably wouldn't have made it out of the Preston Hospital when I was born & neither would Mother.

Applied for Medicaid

I applied for Medicaid today. I was denied almost as soon as I finished the application, LOL. I knew we wouldn't qualify, but it was a requirement before I could apply for help from IHC.

I worked for IHC when Nick was born. I was verbally told that I could take 8 weeks of maternity leave, but it was not in writing. I took one day over my 6 weeks & was fired. I had a lot of anger & depression to get over.

I finally got the invitations for Mother's siblings party finished & in the mail. None too soon either, the party is Saturday, May 2.

Nick's golden birthday

Nick turned 22 today on April 22. I told him this morning we both feel better today than we did 22 years ago. He was born C-section & had swallowed a lot of blood. He was one sick little baby & I was one sick mama.

I had an MRI today. Debbie Reese took me to Logan. Debbie works with Don & I in the ward library. She is a nurse at the local hospital & can only be to church every other week. She works this weekend, but she was willing to take me to Logan on one of her days off. She sat with me through the harrowing financial interview. I was told I could apply for financial assistance from IHC, then after I got home I got a message from the financial counselor, or whatever her title is, guess I could look on her business card & see what it actually says. She left a message saying I would have to apply for Medicaid & be denied before I could apply for financial assistance, sigh.

So, this MRI was better than the one I had in the fall of 2000 at McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden. That was in a metal tube & they stuck me in this wall, like a morgue. It was closed off at the bottom & the top. The one today was hard plastic & was open at both ends of the tube. I was wiggling my feet & the tech said the image was blurry was I moving? I said yes I'd been wiggling my toes. The noise wasn't nearly as loud as last time. I think it's because last time I was enclosed in this metal tube. Could be my hearing is so much worse this time than it was 8 years ago. I almost fell asleep today. Last time I was so rattled I couldn't eve remember the first Article of Faith, which is probably the easiest one of all. No, all I could do was recite the 13th Article of Faith over & over. That's the hardest one.

Today they had to inject a contrast in my veins. I told the tech that I could not have it in my left arm & that I only have one good vein in my right arm. He thought he found one on the outside & tried, no luck. He said my one good vein is tough as old leather from scar tissue. He tried lower down. I have 3 pokes, not sure where he finally got it in, but I could feel it as it flowed into my vein, just like the chemo. I had a bad headache the rest of the day. Sure glad I had someone to drive me.

Now, we wait for the results. The tech was walking us down the hall & he asked me how long I'd had this pain in my back. I said I didn't have a pain in my back. The lesion was found through an abdominal x-ray at Instacare because of intense stomach pain. I have had a hard time standing on my feet for years because I'd get a back ache. I've always thought it was bad posture & it could very well be. We'll see.

I was also supposed to have an endoscopy today, but because of the cost & the expectation of paying $150 up front before I could have it, I said no. I already pay almost $300 a month in medical bills from my breast cancer surgeries. I have stopped taking some prescriptions because I cannot afford $322 a month for a script.

We ate at Pizza Villa tonight for Nick's birthday. Mother has such a hard time getting in & out of Don-Mike's new pick up. We took her home & left her in tears because she was hurtng so bad. Don-Mike didn't stay long here. Of course, he'd had the day off & worked really hard in the yard. Nick said Don-Mike had mowed the back yard. I hope he had the riding lawn mower fixed. Last week he tilled the garden. Anyway, Don-Mike said he'd go home & play some games on his X-Box & sit with Nana.

Last birthday until June. Still haven't bought presents for our April birthday people, but hey, we've spent quite a bit on dinners & gas to get to the restaurants the last 2 weeks.

The speed limit

Today is Don's 55th birthday. He is now the speed limit, LOL. We went to dinner at the Borderline Grill in Franklin at La Tienda. Don-Mike asked me if I was 9. I looked at him for a minute, trying to debate what he was talking about, then he said 59 & I'm going, "Oh, no, I'm 8. I won't be 9 until this summer." We all laughed at that. So glad I'm not 8 or 9 again.

Speaking of La Tienda, which is Spanish & translated means "the store," most people say the La Tienda. In The Citizen's tourist edition that was just published this week, one of our reporters wrote, "the La Tienda store." As a copy editor, I get to find the mistakes, or should I say, I attempt to find the mistakes in the written copy. I sat there, laughed out loud at "the the store store," & then took my blue pen & crossed out the English "the" & "store."

We had a big discussion in our weekly meeting yesterday about not being so picky. I hope I don't get fired for discussing work on my blog. I read in the news yesterday that someone did.

Now that I've digressed, I'll get back to dinner. We've been wanting to try this restaurant ever since it opened in it's new location in 2007, but haven't. Mother didn't like her meal of shrimp & soup du jour, beef vegetable. It might as well have been stew, very thick. Actually, all she got was 4 shrimp prawns. We ordered the soup as a side. Nick & Don had prime rib, which Nick was quick to point out was not the most expensive entree on the menu. They didn't like it because it was too tough. Don-Mike had BBQ ribs & steak, which he devoured & thought was excellent. I had shrimp & salmon. The salmon was "blackened" & dry. There was no lemon served with it. I could've asked for it, but didn't. Since Mother was finished with her meal & I hadn't even opened my baked potato yet, I shared my potato with her. We all had cheesecake for dessert.

The booth was big, but not quite big enough for us, so we were crowded. As usual, we had the 3 right-handers on one side & both left-handers on the other. If Eddie had been with us, we would have had 3 left-handers & the booth would definitely not have been big enough. It seemed to be popular with local people though. We knew most of the diners. Don & I decided we would not return there any time soon. I'm not anxious to have another attack of restaurant syndrome (IBS) any time soon either.

At least we're not faced with Borderline Grill again on Wednesday for Nick's birthday. He wants to go back to Cabin Fever Café in Providence where we went last year. I hear they've gone out of business. According to Google, they are still there, hmmm. Maybe ...... Don suggested Iron Gate Grill. We enjoyed Cabin Fever Café. I had salmon last year & Eddie ate my leftovers, LOL.

Tax Day 2009

Today, I went in & saw my nurse practitioner, Roxanne Froeher. She is such an awesome lady. She doesn't think the problem is gall bladder. She thinks it is an ulcer. The only time I have the attacks is when I'm empty. I haven't eaten. Usually you have the pain or attack after you've eaten if it's gall bladder. She's sending me in to have an ultrasound at Franklin County Medical Center tomorrow. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight & my appt. is at 10 a.m. I'm so glad it's here at our local hospital. She also gave me some samples of Nexium to try. If it is an ulcer, it will help. If it isn't, it won't hurt.

She's also concerned about the lesion on my spine. It measures about 1" at L1. No wonder my back always hurts when I stand too long. She said she'd call the radiologist in Logan & talk to him about the best option on how to proceed.

I've lost 10 pounds from the last time I saw her in December. Trying to watch the sugar intake. Another 3-5 pounds & I'll no longer be obese!!

I told her that I stopped the femara & crestor because I can't afford them. She told me we would definitely meet our $4K deductible this year,


We took Mother out to dinner for her birthday this evening at Chuck-A-Rama, a buffet in Ogden, Utah. We were all able to ride together in Don-Mike's new extended cab pickup. That's the first time in years, we've been able to all ride in the same vehicle, since the Windstar bit the dirt. well, actually the pavement, LOL, 4 or 5 years ago.

I was very careful of what I ate. Not a lot of fat, no spicy stuff & I only got one little piece of raw onion, LOL Don-Mike saw some no sugar stuff & pointed it out to me. I was a good girl & had the jello & pie. No IBS attack either,

I also questioned Don-Mike about the phone call from Dr. Broadbent. It was not the doctor himself, whew. It was a lady & I was supposed to call back. I assumed I was supposed to call back, but Don had said Dr. B, himself, called, which concerned me. I'm sure they are calling in regards to my calling to let them know that I had stopped taking femara because of the cost.

Here's an article in the New York Time, As Pills Treat Cancer, Insurance Lags Behind that a friend drew my attention to.

I've made the decision, as a lot of people have to, do I take the meds & prolong my life or do I pay my mortgage, utilities & outstanding medical bills & buy food? In my case, we don't even know if the medication will prolong my life. Supposedly, the breast cancer was taken care of with the removal of the lymph nodes, the partial mastectomy; the chemo & the radiation. The femara is to inhibit estrogen. I didn't have the HER2 cancer, mine was estrogen-positive. HER2 is aggressive & has to be treated longer & more aggressively than estrogen-positive. But my decision, after discussion with the Lord, the bishop & my husband, is to pay my mortgage, utility bills & outstanding medical bills.

If I die, we have insurance to cover my funeral expenses. The local morticians are friends of mine. They have explicit instructions of how to lay me out, We don't have insurance to cover my prescriptions until we reach our $4K deductible. I pay $90 for one Rx & take 3 more in the morning & 1 in the evening, for a total of 5 scripts. Besides, we buy Prilosec (for Don & Nick) over the counter & Zyrtec-D (for Nick, I stopped taking that, too) over the counter as they went off patent & insurances no longer cover them. We can get Prilosec for Nick thru Medicaid though, only one dose a day, when the doctor prescribed 2.

I will call Dr. Broadbent's medical assistant tomorrow. Roxanne said she'd call when she gets the report back from FCMC & also when she has talked to radiologist in Logan. Her morning receptionist, Kristy Nelson, is a friend of mine. We go back a long way back. She still remembers when she worked for the local chiropractor that Mother was picking apples & the ladder fell over & Mother hung from a branch in the apple tree until my dad came along & set the ladder up for her. I wasn't living around here then, must have been about 20-25 years ago, if Daddy was still able to get around.

OK, gotta tell you why I'm glad the ultrasound is here in town. My car is in our garage, with no brakes. Don-Mike had the day off & was going to replace them today, but the local NAPA store just sold the rotors for my model of car yesterday. They had to order some for it. I needed wheels, so I'm driving Don-Mike's '89 Trans Am, Nan's Am, around town. No way would I go to Logan in that. I may have to go to the chiropractor after driving it. It was raining today, which turned into snow, rain, snow ... & the T-top was dripping. He hadn't gotten the glass down tight.

Don't know if that was an update, a complaint or just general grousing. Whatever it was, it was rambling, & too many words, LOL.

Tuesday, April 14

Today is Mother's 83rd birthday. Yup, she was born April 14, 1926. Interesting thing is, Larry found her birth certificate says April 15. Yet her parents always celebrated her birthday on April 14.

Lyola Holden Chase is coming today from New Hampshire. They have been friends since they were 6 & 7. Lyola is 11 months older than Mother. I've been trying to think how I can get Mother back to New Hampshire, but New Hampshire is coming to us.

Another work day, another DUP day. I've begun to dread DUP. I guess it doesn't help that I'm the secretary & I'm not doing a very good job of it. I spent hours last night typing up the minutes. I printed them out this morning & they are crappy. Don-Mike doesn't have a word processing application on his computer. I don't know if Don does or not, but Don uses his computer. I don't really like to kick him off of it. Besides, it is right inside the front door & it is cold. So, I used Notepad & every time the line word wrapped it double spaced. I'll take them to work & retype & reprint them after I'm finished with my work.

We have to cut our hours by 7 percent since they can't cut our pay. Yesterday I worked from about 9:30 to 6:15. Last week I worked until almost 9. I definitely cut my hours by 7 percent from last week, LOL. If it was 7 percent of 12 hours, that would have been 50.7 minutes. So, 7 percent of what? I don't even know how many hours Kelly schedules us. It might be a good idea to find out.

Easter Sunday

I woke up this morning about 5 in pain. I ached all over, I thought I might throw up, then wondered if it was diarrhea. Nothing that easy, just pain. I came out in the front room & sat in the swivel rocker/recliner. I swiveled it away from the bright light from the network server & sat there dozing fitfully until Don got up, gave me some ibuprofen & I went back to bed.

Nick woke me up about noon to tell me that I wasn't needed in the library. Don had called & said it was "covered." Instead of going back to bed, I got up & put the roast on. I bought a 5 pound pork roast last night. Eddie has gone home, so I don't have to worry about having dinner ready & over by the time he has to be home. I'm using a recipe that is appearing in the Citizen this coming week, Coca-Cola brisket or something like that. They didn't have a brisket at the store last night, not that I would have been able to afford it anyway.

So, my new "project" for the month is to continue striving to make it to bed "on time." But I'm changing my bedtime to midnight. Also, I've been a FlyLady fan for a long time & the monthly habit for April is making your bed every day. That is something I've pretty much mastered. Even if I go back to bed in the middle of the day, even though people die in bed, I get up & remake the bed. I have a selfish reason for that. Our bed is "catland."

As you can see by the picture, our cats share the bed with me in the morning. Here I am working on a daily to-do list & Jae is practically on my lap; Prissy is on my right side, against my knee; Sammy, the yellow cat; Brackin, at the end; and Marsha, the gray cat sitting up.

Lent, Day 40

The last day of Lent & tomorrow is Easter Sunday, Christ's resurrection. The time in the tomb is almost over. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'd never really thought of the meaning of Lent. I think I'll have a deeper appreciation of Christ's sacrifice for us. Perhaps I should watch The Passion of the Christ every Easter season.

Last night was a very rough night for me. I put my CPAP mask on & the hole had ripped bigger, air was just rushing out. So, I thought I'd try Mother's old mask, but I hate that mask. It hurts. So, I had no choice but to pull out the full face mask I got. I fought with that all night. This morning when Don got up for work, yes, he had to work today, I got up to put the salve in Prissy's eye, then hauled out the CPAP bag & pulled out all the literature on the mask. I messed with it for about an hour, got it to fit & laid down & went right to sleep.

Tonight we went to the grocery store & I thought it was 11, closing time, but it was only 10. I'm so tired & have such a headache. I'm hoping tonight is better.

I have my phone calendar set to chime 4 times a day so Prissy gets the salve in her eye. Nick has been a great help & Prissy's eye is starting to look better.

Today Eddie was standing in the door & saw Chris Garrett's big mastiff bite Colton Hull. Colton was over on Gwen's lawn & I don't know if the dog was playing or what, but Colton kicked at him. Chris called the dog home & put him in the kennel. Colton was crying, so I went over to Hulls & rang the doorbell. When Cindy came to the door, I told her what Eddie had seen. The dog had bruised Colton's shoulder, but it hadn't broken the skin. Like Eddie said, the dog is bigger than the kid. Matt was supposed to be watching Colton, but usually when Matt is "watching" Colton, Colton is wandering the neighborhood. I guess Chris was watching his dog too, he was in the driveway & the dog was roaming the neighborhood.

Colton said it was Spillet's dog, the people that lived across the street. They've moved & taken their animals with them. They were there today, but their dogs weren't. When we left Hulls, Eddie said Chris & the Hulls, Matt & Cindy, were yelling. I guess that's one benefit of being hearing impaired, LOL, you can't hear your neighbors yelling at each other.

Tonight when I went to feed Mufasa, I told him that was why I don't let him out. I can't control him & I don't want him wandering the neighborhood.

Lent, Day 39

Lent is almost over & I really didn't meet my goal of giving up late nights, although I did make a valiant effort. Up at 6:45 again this morning, but this morning I went back to bed. I think it was midnight again last night when I made it to bed.

Today would have been Don's moms 80th birthday. I didn't even make the connection that today was Bertha's birthday, much less her 80th. Don thought of it as we came out of Matthews Mortuary in Montpelier tonight after going to his Uncle Clyde's viewing. So we drove up to the cemetery to visit her grave.

Clyde is Bertha's brother just younger than her. He is 75 & has had cancer the last 4 years. I guess he really suffered the last few days. I didn't recognize a lot of the family, but Don said the only one he didn't recognize was Clyde. I didn't think it looked like Clyde either.

I didn't recognize his Aunt Merlyn (not Merlin, but Mer-Lynn). OMG, she looked like an old lady! I thought she looked like she was in her late 80s. I know she's only in her early 70s, so I guess that isn't very nice. I don't think she's very well either. When asked how she is doing, she just fluttered her hand, like so-so. I know it's not nice to "keep track." But she didn't make it to Bertha's funeral. She lives in the Vernal, Utah, area. She had just been up for the 4th of July & had not recuperated from her trip when Bertha died on Aug. 10. I remembered what Jessi, my supervisor, said you never know if you're going to offend by ommission or whether you're going to offend by saying something. She has decided it is better to offend by saying something. So, anyway, I said we missed her, Merlyn, at Bertha's funeral.

Don may have to work tomorrow & since he won't know til morning, it was better to go to the viewing tonight.

Lent, Day 38

Bedtime last night was 12:30. I turned off the computer at 11:30, but didn't make it to bed until 12:30. But, I was up at 6:45 to get Don to help me put the drops in Prissy's eye.

I got a phone call today from Instacare. Blood work came back from LRH as "good." However, the doctor found a lesion on my spine that he wants me to follow up on ASAP. Of course, my first thoughts are "cancer." I did stop at Nurse Practitioners on my way home from work. I'm not sure when I can make the time to get in & see them. I thought maybe Roxanne might want to see the x-ray before she sees me.

I also wanted to see if there were a possibility of getting a box of samples of Topamax. Medicaid did give Nick the Prior Authorization (PA) but the pharmacy has given us 10 days of Topamax, so we're always going to be behind on getting his refills. I thought by getting some samples, we could maybe catch up & be on time or a little ahead.

Lent, Day 37

Just a few more days of the Lenten season & then I'll have to come up with new titles for my subject line. I have had trouble trying to figure out what day of Lent it is. I hope I've numbered them all correctly.

Don made it to bed before I did last night. I had to fill the humidifier of my CPAP machine & then put it in after the lights were out - grrrr. So, it must have been about midnight again.

I spent the morning trying to figure out why the bank wouldn't let Luana cash Mother's rent check on Monday. I still don't know the answer to that, but she got it cashed. Then I checked on the vet charge account to see if there would be enough available credit to pay for both cats & saw only $23 available. So, I spent the morning, what was left of it after I got up at 10:30, working on finances. I was supposed to be to work at noon & didn't make it. I was going to have a piece of toast & take my meds before I took the cats to the vet.

But Nick has been obsessing about Daddy's little red jeep. How he wants to get rid of it & nobody will let him. I told him I did not want to get into an argument about the jeep. I didn't have time.

Nick & Don-Mike did put Brackin & Prissy in the carriers & carried them out to the car for me. By then, I was running late, still had to go up to the Citizen & tell them I'd be later than I was, but I'd still come in.

Prissy's eye has been gray, like Boots' was when I took him to the vet. Dr. Larry, the older, retired vet, was working today, I didn't ask where Dr. Cliff was. I like Dr. Larry better. He looked closely at Prissy's eye. He wanted to see if there was a "foreign body" in it. He found a ripped 3rd eye lid. He said, "Huh, I thought so." Somebody had swatted at Prissy & scratched her in the eye. We all know who did that. Miss Marsha Lu thinks she is God's gift to the Bartlomé family. She's always swiping at the other cats, especially Prissy. And poor little Prissy has been the pariah since the boys (Boots & Astro) died. Astro was the pariah before. Prissy has never fit in, but she & Boots seemed to have a rapport.

I think I know now how Boots died. Nick told me that Sam had run Boots off. We found him out under the lilac tree, so weak, he couldn't stand up. So, I'll bet his gray eye was the result of a swipe from Sam & it got infected.

Anyway, while I was explaining to Becca, the receptionist at the vet's office, that I didn't know how I was going to pay for this because I couldn't find Mother's credit card, I had a sudden, extreme gut ache. OMG, it felt like someone had taken my gut & was twisting it. It hurt SOOOOOOO bad. Becca & Marie, the vet's assistant, gave me a lollipop, they got some Ensure for diabetics, but I could only drink 3 swallows of the Ensure, then I tried throwing up, sticking my finger down my throat & gagging myself, in the bathroom, of course.

I had not had anything to eat before I left, the appt. was at 2 & I was about 5 minutes late. So, we wondered if it was low blood sugar. I hadn't had any of my pills either. I handed Becca my cell phone & she called Don-Mike, but I didn't know I had Big J's programmed as his default number. I always just use the speed dial. So, we tried his speed dial, it went to his voice mail, so she left a message. Then she called Nick. Luckily Don-Mike was at Big J's in Richmond & came back & got me. He called Nick to tell him not to come, but he was already in Franklin. Nick opted to keep coming. Don-Mike stopped at Big J's & picked up his food & while he was in getting it, I swiped 3 big swallows of his drink, still thinking it might be low blood sugar.

I curled up in the fetal position, trying to get some relief from the pain. He asked me what side of the road Instacare was on & I finally sat up. He was on 1400 North, headed for the hospital. I told him I wanted Instacare, but we could go to the hospital, if he wanted. He said ERs are so stinking expensive. I said Instacare was on 4th North & 2nd East. He took 4th East & wended his way to Instacare. OMG, those roads are bumpy. I'm so glad he had his new truck. I could stretch out in the back seat, not that I did.

Nick pulled in right behind us. I think he went directly to Instacare though. I am so glad Nick was there. He stayed right by my side. Don-Mike went right back out to the truck to eat his lunch. Nick helped me at the registration desk, stood by me through the triage room, helped me to the examining room & sat there with me. He left when I told him to go out to the truck & get the cell phone to call Jessi, my supervisor. Don-Mike came in then with Nick. Don-Mike had called Don, so he came up after work. The boys left when Don came & stopped in Richmond to pick up the cats.

The doctor examined me. By that time the pain had let up & I was able to straighten out. I told Nick by the time the doctor came, I was going to be better. Still tender & still having some pain. My urine sample was good, my blood work was good, slightly anemic, no surprise, but my potassium level was up, woo hoo!! My sugar level was 125, slightly elevated, but good considering I hadn't had anything to eat. They took an x-ray & found that there was a lot of stool backed up. I KNOW that wasn't a blocked bowel. The doctor suspects a gall bladder attack. They had to send that blood work to Logan Regional's lab, oh groan, more medical bills.

Anyway, the doctor told me to drink lots of water & they would call in the morning with the results of the blood work they sent to LRH.

Don stopped at the vet's for me to pick up the car. It was 10 to 6 & I told him I was going to go in & tell them I was ok. Whoever went in to pick up the cats told Becca & Marie it was gall stones. I told Nick to tell them the doctor thought it was gall bladder.

Lent, Day 36

We have some idiot racing up & down our street & revving his engine right outside our house. I'm so tired of the "kids" on the corner. I was so psyched Saturday, I thought they had moved, but ... no such luck, as we can hear. He does it at 2 a.m. in the morning. I was talking to a neighbor about half a block away about this neighbor a few weeks ago. He called him "ignernt." It tickled me. Something I didn't expect to hear. It's supposed to be ignorant, but means rude, LOL. Supposed to be Cache Valley-ese, but supposedly found in Canada. Hell-oooo!!! Some parts of Canada were settled by people from Cache Valley.

Anyway, today was much better, health-wise. Again, the attempt to get to bed by 11:30 failed & I made it to bed by 11:55. I was awake at 6 this morning & couldn't get back to sleep. My CPAP mask is ripped & air was leaking. I didn't want to get up & disturb Don. So, once he was up & out of the bathroom, I was in the bathroom & up for the day. I guess I'll have to try Mother's "old" mask again (above).

Speaking of CPAP masks, Mother wore her new CPAP mask (left) until 5 a.m. THIS MORNING!!! Woo hoo!! The longest she has worn it since she got the CPAP machine. She just kept the mask on her face when she got up & went to the bathroom. That's when it has been coming off in the past. Don-Mike told her to take the hose off the mask when she goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night & leave the mask on. She said she did that last night. I asked if it didn't bother her & she said yes, but she hurried. I wouldn't be able to do it, I'd fall or hyperventilate or both.

She said she didn't feel very good this morning when she got up. She'd had a weird dream. I told her it was good for her to dream. People with sleep disorders usually don't fall asleep soundly enough to dream.

I cut Don's hair tonight, almost gave him a buzz by using the shortest guard we have. A buzz will be the next cut, no guard on the clippers. The short hair looked so cool, as in not warm, but not cold , LOL, I was tempted to do it to my own. He actually looks cool, as in sharp, with the short hair too. Could be I'm prejudiced :)

Mother's protime was 2.7 today, within normal limits, keep on the same dosage of coumadin & recheck in 2 weeks.

A work day tomorrow & vet appointment for both Brackin & Prissy. Our vet is in Richmond, Utah. I picked up a cat carrier at the vet's today on our way home from Logan. I'd have forgotten if Mother hadn't reminded me. With 2 cat carriers, ours & the vet's, I can take both cats. Then Don can return the vet's carrier on Thursday on his way home.

Lent, Day 35

Today I woke up at 9:10 when Don-Mike woke me up. I had been awake earlier, but decided it was too early to get up & evidently went back to sleep. I need to be to work by 9 a.m. on Monday, so I got up, hurried & got dressed, took 2 meds, lexapro & metformin, grabbed my 2-liter bottle of Diet Mt. Dew & ran to work. I knew I wasn't going to have time to stop at the Conoco & get a refill.

I parked behind The Citizen & bent over to retrieve my cell phone off the floor of the passenger side of the car. I felt really dizzy. When I sat up, I was dizzy & clammy. I thought I was going to pass out. I sat there with one foot in the car & one foot out of the car. I thought they were going to come out & find me dead in my car. Shortly after I started working at The Citizen, one of my coworkers didn't show up for work one Friday. Walt Ross, the owner at the time, tried calling her off & on all day, but she never answered. He finally called her daughter to see if she knew where her mother was. The daughter found her dead on the back step of her house, one shoe on & one shoe off. It was in January.

Anyway, I decided I wasn't just going to sit in the car, I could make it to the door. I was actually wondering if I was going to make it across the alley. I stopped just as I got across the alley, but told myself I could make it to the door. I made it to the door, then encouraged myself to make it to the time clock. I punched in & then bee lined right for the editor's office. I walked in & Rod, the editor, said, "RaNae you don't look very good." I said I wasn't dead yet, so I couldn't call in sick. Just then Doug Webb, the senior mortician, walked up to the door. Rod quipped, "RaNae, he came to get you." Bob, assistant editor, said, "He's too early." LOL We all laughed &, of course, Doug didn't know what we were laughing at. I told him & then Vicki came in & said I didn't look very good. I said I felt terrible, but I thought it was low blood sugar. She had some mini dark chocolate-filled peanut butter bars. She gave me one & I ate it & sat there for a few minutes. I was amazed at how fast I started feeling better. Color came back to my face & I was able to get up & go to our work station. Jessi, our supervisor, said she was going over to the Conoco to get a drink & asked if she could get me something. I said yes & asked her to get me a muffin loaf. I gave her some money. She soon came back with it. I gobbled it up & felt better. I've had a headache all day & have just felt generally crappy.

Don-Mike traded in his '06 Mustang today for an '04 Chevy Silverado 2500-HD (heavy duty) 3/4 ton 4x4 with a 6.6 liter V8 Duramax diesel engine & an Allison 1000 automatic tranney. He got it for $19,900. The salesman said if he hadn't brought in the page from the Internet he printed it would have cost him $2,000 more. He only got $9,000 as a trade-in for his Mustang. He's pleased with the pickup. He's been wanting a diesel for a long time. One of the ladies he works with told him it was about time he got a truck he doesn't have to work on, LOL. It's got a short bed with a camper package & a towing package. It has a running board so it's easy to get in & out of. It has cloth seats & he wanted leather. He had leather in his 'Stang. He has 4 other trucks. I wonder if he'll get rid of any of them.

Last night I would have made it to bed at 11:30 except I spilled a glass of apple juice as I was reaching to get something behind the recliner. I can't believe how upset I was. First, I was upset the glass had been left there half-full. I'm sure Nick forgot where he put it. He's getting so bad at remembering. Second, I had to clean it up. Third, I wouldn't make it to bed at 11:30. I did make it to bed at midnight, but I hadn't got any soft water at Mother's to fill the humidifier of my CPAP machine. Today, I forgot to get distilled water at the grocery store or to run over to Mother's & get any water. Tonight I'll have to use hard water & remember to get some tomorrow.

I have to work every day this week. It's the Tourist Special Edition. I'll have to take Mother to the doctor tomorrow for her pro-time. Wednesday afternoon I have to take Brackin in for his booster shots. Prissy has an infection in one of her eyes. It's gray. I've probably waited too long & she's blind in that eye.

Palm Sunday

Another day of General Conference, therefore no local church meetings are being held, thus a holiday for Don & I from the library.

Bedtime last night was - drum roll please - 11:30 p.m. Wake up time was 9:15. Nick woke me up, but I was laying there without the CPAP mask on my nose. He figured I was awake. My nose was so plugged up, I couldn't breathe through it, sigh. I haven't been taking my Zyrtec-D because Nick needs it & I've been giving it to him because Medicaid won't pay for Zyrtec. I guess I'll have to buy some OTC so we can both use it. My mouth was so dry. We're out of prilosec too. I've got to buy that also.

Now, for confession time. I was sitting on the bed, ready for bed at 11:30 p.m. I turned out the light at 12:30 because I finished reading an Anne Perry book, A Christmas Beginning. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's past due at the library & I need to return it. I have 2 other books out too. The librarian told me she couldn't renew one of them anymore. So, I need to read that too, or just bite the bullet & return it.

Don is finally doing our taxes. He needs a couple of things, but that's why I wanted the taxes done now & not April 15. I can look for them now, I've got a couple of days to do it. It's probably out in the basket of mail on the front seat of the car. I've been going to sort through it at Mother's.

Don-Mike's decided it's time to upgrade his daily driver. Nick found him a truck at Axtell Chevrolet in Logan. Speaking of dealerships, Tapper Motor in Montpelier has closed. Not that he was planning on checking with Tapper, but I remembered when he was talking about checking Hunzeker Chevrolet in Soda Springs.

Well, it's noon. Onward & upward, or in other words, I need to get up, take my meds, get dressed & go over to Mother's.

Lent, Day 34

Saturday evening. I'm glad I decided to take this challenge of giving something up for Lent, actually, it was to improve myself. I was rather naive when I started this. We've all heard of giving up something for Lent. I always thought it was rather strange. For the last 34 days, plus the 5 Sundays, so 39 days, I've thought about bedtime. I've also thought about why Lent is observed. At first I had this rather grandiose plan, I'd read about the last days of Christ in the New Testament, I'd get to bed at 11:30, no sweat, & I'd declutter the end of the bed, the easier to get in bed, huh!

I found this on a friend's blog:

An accurate depiction of Christ’s suffering contains objectionable material: Intense, Graphic Violence, Blood and Gore, plus Nudity. Not my style at all.

Nor is it my style. When I saw the movie, The Passion of the Christ, I wanted to see it in the theater, but couldn't find it in the valley. We rented it & Don & I watched it at home. I'm glad I got to see it at home. I asked several people if they had seen it. The response I got was that it was rated R. Well, duh, why wouldn't it be rated R? I had never seen such intense, graphic violence, my mind couldn't even wrap itself around it. It made a profound impression on me. Until that point in time, I couldn't even fathom the intensity of the violence.

I got to hear a little bit of LDS General Conference today. I wish I'd heard more, but I was running errands. And truth to tell, I'd forgotten it was conference.

Let's see bedtime was midnight, wake up time, Don said it was 10. I'd been awake for a little while trying to order in my mind what I needed to do today. Nick is out of topamax. I tried to get it the other day & was told to wait until the 10th. He ran out last night. I was hoping it was close enough to get some. Medicaid is playing god again. I so do not want to go to the bishop again for help. That is extremely hard for me to do. The good news is topamax is finally generic!!! Woo hoo! I just hope the generic helps as much as brand name. I know prozac helped until it went generic, then it was just like giving me a placebo.

The pharmacist asked me if the topamax was for seizures. No. Migraines? No, it's for his bipolar. Bipolar? He didn't know it was indicated for bipolar. Sigh. I got 4 pills for the weekend. Monday is a work day, but I guess I'll have to run an errand in the morning to see if I can get this worked through.

Speaking of seizures, a young man I worked with at the Deseret Industries died this week. He was 33. He had a seizure & fell & hit his head real hard. Bob, assistant editor, said it was a brain aneurysm. Whatever, it has haunted me.

Kim Kent & her daughter Shari Hokanson, left Endfield, Conn., this morning & are spending the night in Niagra, N.Y. They were in Schnectady this morning & the wind was blowing so hard the large lightpoles that have 4 lights on them were swaying in the wind.

Nick & Eddie went to see the movie, Fast & Furious, this afternoon. It is an auto-racing film. Don-Mike's been wanting to see it, so he took his dad with him to see it this evening.

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General Conference is also broadcast live on TV in the Salt Lake television market, which Preston is part of. We get Utah TV stations, but not Idaho.

Lent, Day 33

I follow a blog called "A Year of Crockpotting," you can find it down under "Other Blogs I Like to Read."

Here is a recipe I want to try, Crockpot Albondigas (Meatball) Soup. We really like meatball soup. Later in the comments she says you can use parsley if the mint weirds you out. The mint weirds me out.

Today's entry is Poor Man's Chili Crockpot Recipe. She says it is similar to her Clean Out the Pantry Soup. We call our clean out the pantry/freezer soup Minestrone Soup. I fixed that last night. I used pork broth left over from some pulled pork we had a few months ago. I don't do very good at labeling stuff I stick in the freezer. Never quite sure what I'll pull out. I didn't drain any of the veggies, so my soup was quite "broth-y." Is that a word? So, I wanted to thicken it. I used 1/2 cup bread crumbs. I found that in an allrecipes.com recipe.

Here is the real reason I decided to blog this, Crockpot Rice Pudding. I love rice pudding. I love crockpots. I just don't like to CLEAN crockpots. I was afraid if I didn't put it somewhere obvious, I'd never find it again. May never find it again anyway.

Speaking of a word being a word, I told Mother yesterday that I don't like to bathe, rhymes with lave, which is where she got Javen out bathing. How do you spell bathe-ing?

Since RaNae has a long "a," I sometimes get in trouble when someone says "Hey!" I mistake the long "a" for my name, LOL. This happened to me earlier in the week. I was SOOOO embarrassed. No one saw me, so it was ok.

I was at Stokes grocery store in their new little dining area which has an outside door. It is only an exit door with no handles on the outside. I was standing there getting myself a soda refill & I heard someone yell, "RaNae! Open the door!" And I heard some pounding & the door rattle like someone was trying to get in. My first thought was how did anyone know I was standing there. Second was that it was an emergency door & I couldn't open it. I stepped back to see who was at the door. No one! No one was at the door, but I could still hear the rattling. Now, remember, I have a substantial hearing loss & a hearing aid. A lot of times I can't tell where a sound is coming from. So, I thought maybe it was the door into the store. I turned & looked there. The doors were standing wide open & there was no one around. I KNEW I had heard the door & someone call my name demanding to be let in. I was still hearing things so I swung around. There on the wall is a large screen TV. There was an animated show playing. I think it was "Kung Fu Panda," with this huge panda shaking a door & demanding to be let in. He had yelled, "Hey!" not RaNae. LOL

Last night was a miserable night. I got to bed a little after 11:30, maybe 12 again. I decided I was going to use Mother's "old" CPAP mask, the one she's been cursing for the past 3 months. I don't like the mask over my mouth either. When I breathe, the air blows on my mouth. She'd been complaining about that. When Don finally came to bed at 1 a.m., I had enough of the "new" mask. I ripped it off & put on my old nasal mask. I loosened it. When I woke up this morning, I thought maybe there was something in the fact that a too tight mask might have something to do with my toothache. By afternoon though, the toothache was back, not as fierce as it has been, but it's there.

Don-Mike woke me up about 10. He said I was moving so he thought I was awake.

Lent, Day 32

Yesterday, The Preston Citizen was the talk of the town. It was so fun. I've had a hard time not talking about it. My poor family heard all about the April Fools joke we were going to play on the town.

There was a mixed review. One lady was so angry, she canceled her subscription. Another lady called & reamed Rhonda out because it was so tasteless. My aunt Luana didn't think it was funny either. One lady was crying at the Conoco because the county had gone bankrupt. Yet, people were laughing & loving it, too. I went into the Conoco today & saw that there was not a single copy of The Citizen on the counter. I asked where all the Citizens were & the clerk said they sold like hotcakes. There wasn't a single paper left when she went off shift yesterday afternoon. A lot of times Hidie has to pick up a whole stack of papers from the Conoco because they haven't sold.

So, here is a rundown of the April Fools joke we played. The Citizen was spelled Citzien. The top of the paper where it says "... bringing you the news since 1890," says "... bringing you the stuff of 1890." The top kicker says "DEQ closes Franklin County Landfill, page 16." The bottom kicker has a picture of the PHS cheer team's trophy saying they won the stunt contest at state & says, "PHS cheer team wins rumble competition, page 15." Then the Index has things like Illegals, page 16 (DEQ), instead of Legals & Hitchin' Post instead of Weddings, Boonies instead of Rural Route, Eatable Page instead of Recipe Corner. I don't have the paper in front of me, but there were other things like that & each of them reference a page that isn't even there, LOL.

The three main stories were county goes bankrupt with people driving to Soda Springs (45 miles north in Caribou County) to license cars & etc., Montpelier City (45 miles east in Bear Lake County) wouldn't answer any questions about whether they were in trouble or not instead of Preston. A band of wolves kills an entire herd of sheep, using a Bear Lake ranchers name. The final one was alligators found in Glendale Reservoir. The pictures were of the county commission chair, Richard Westerberg, standing on the front steps of the courthouse with a sign posted on the door that says, "Closed until further notice." He's standing there with dark shades & this little smirk on his face. Another picture has a picture of Glendale Reservoir with an alligator near the shore (which was put in with Photo Shop). The third picture is a picture of Robert Crosland, the PJHS science teacher, holding his alligator with a big grin on his face. Everyone knows that Cros teaches at PJHS, but the caption reads he is the PHS biology teacher :D

The stories are jumped to page 2 & at the end of each story is APRIL FOOLS! Page 3 is the REAL front page & everything is back to normal. Citizen is spelled right, the index has correct information AND pages. The kickers are correct too. It was a challenge to jump the real front page stories to other documents, so it took longer to get the jumps right.

Today, I went over so Mother could take a bath. I didn't get over there until 2. Don-Mike fed her such a big lunch, she had to sit & let it settle before she could take a bath. She didn't have her hearing aid in because she was going to take a bath. I asked her if it gave her out to take a bath & she said no. I said, "Bathing gives me out." She said, "What did he do?" I said, "Bathing gives me out." She said, "I heard you. What did he do?" I'm a little frustrated by now. I went up to her & said distinctly in her ear, "Bathing gives me out." She said, "Oh, bathing." I said, "Yes, what did you think I said?" She said, "Javen gives you out." I laughed & laughed over that. "Javen? I haven't seen Javen for a long time." Javen is our little neighbor boy. He's 4 & is on the autistic spectrum, so yes, he could give me out. But it's winter & I haven't seen him for a long time. I did watch him & his big sister come running out the other morning & clean off their aunt's car before school. Javen was cleaning the grill & the head lights & Burkley was brushing off the windshield. It reminded me of when my kids were little & Nick wouldn't ride the bus.

Anyway, Mother told me to go over to her house & take a shower. That gives me out too. I just hope that once the femara is out of my system, bathing won't be so tiring.

Luana let Mother borrow a toilet riser & Mother's been complaining about how the bathroom stinks. So, while she was in the tub, I decided I'd clean the toilet. I knew I wouldn't be able to clean the whole thing because I'd get tired. But I thought I'd see how far I could get. I took the riser off & went out to the laundry room & got some Borax, came back dumped some in & cleaned the toilet. I'd taken my water pill late & the shower running was causing some discomfort. I thought I'd use the bathroom while the shower curtain was shut & Mother wouldn't know. Well, I forgot to put the toilet seat down & I fell in the toilet & screamed. It almost gave Mother a heart attack, LOL. She's yelling, "What's the matter?" So, there I sit with my feet in the air, my butt in the toilet & I ripped open the shower curtain & said, "Nothing! I fell in the toilet." She said, "How are you going to get out?" I said, "I'm going to stand up." LOL

We had a fun time, which was better than leaving her in tears like I did last night. She was upset over her new CPAP mask. She spent about a half hour working with it.

I asked how it went last night & she said she got a tooth ache from the mask being so tight. I laughed & said that must be why I've had a tooth ache the last few weeks. My CPAP mask is too tight. The head gear is stretched out so much, I just keep tightening it. It's hard to get it on at night. Actually, that is something that can happen, but I didn't know it until I read it in the literature yesterday when I was trying to adjust Mother's new mask. The new mask just fits over her nose, which is what she's been wanting all along. She also said she couldn't keep her mouth shut & it was hard to breathe in the mask. I said that was why she had the other mask, to go over her mouth.

She asked how you're supposed to keep your mouth shut. I said I didn't know, I'd done it for 10 years, until the last few months before I got the new CPAP machine & the pressure was too high. For over 9 years the pressure has been set at 11, but I was having problems with it & so the doctor ordered a new sleep study & they found that I only need the pressure set at 8. Before the change, I'd rip the mask off because the pressure was too high. Other times the CPAP machine would stop & start & stop & start or just stop all together.

Last night Don made it to bed at 11:30 & I, of course, didn't. I woke up at 10 this morning, to see someone walk through the hall. I called out, "Who is that?" Eddie came back & said, "Me." He didn't have service today & so he got to come spend the day.

Lent, Day 31

Another short post, another missed bedtime. Darn! I read somewhere that someone gave up fast food for Lent, now there's an idea. Why didn't I choose something easy?

I've not had any femara since Sunday night. I should've taken that last pill instead of leaving just one, sigh. Can't see any difference yet, not that I really expected side effects to be gone overnight.

Lent, Day 30

Nick was giddy tonight, I'm a bad daughter & Don went to bed at 11:30. I'm still up, 12:41 a.m., obsessing about finances & what a bad daughter I am.