Ambiguity

Sunday I went to Sacrament Meeting because Don said the choir was going to sing. It was a new song, And the Father Will Dance. Both Don & Don-Mike sing in the choir. Since Don & I are the ward librarians, we spend class time in the library & I always take something to do in the library, because it gets boring sometimes.

Sunday I had grabbed a notepad to make some notes for next year's DUP. I am the captain for the next 2 years & I want to send a letter to all of the members of our camp. The first speaker was Abbey Child. Abbey is a senior in high school & the youngest child of Robert & Karen Child. I have known Karen since she was a baby. I remember her dad getting up in Fast & Testimony meeting telling about her being born. She says she is sure it was her younger brother Forrest, because I would only have been 5 when she was born. But Karen has been our visiting teacher & now we are Karen's visiting teachers.

Anyway, Abbey was talking about things her mother has taught her. She said her mother has taught her the four CTR's.

1. Choose the Right
2. Choose the Redeemer
3. Choose to Read
4. Choose to Remember

I thought how profound they were & had to write them down. So, I wasn't prepared to take notes. I did have a notepad in my lap, but needed to find a pen or pencil, anything to write it down with, barring sticking my finger with the safety pin in the handle of my purse & writing it in blood. After I found the writing utensil, I hurriedly wrote 3 things down, but didn't get the fourth R written before I had forgotten it. I listened to the rest of her talk, then after she sat down, I wrote a note to Don, "What was the fourth R?"

He thought a minute, then grinned & said, "Remember." Argh!! He was right! It WAS remember! I could have taken his answer as telling me to think & remember what it was, rather than, "Here is the answer, 'Remember.'"

It reminded me of  a joke I heard recently of a blonde trying to find out what the texting acronym IDK stood for. She asked everyone & always got the same answer, "I Don't Know." Rather than understanding that was the answer, she reached a breaking point & cried, "That does it! Nobody knows."

Another time I had read a trivia question that I wanted to share. I KNEW Don would know it. I take things very literally - sometimes. I asked Don, "What is the #1 quoted line in movie history?" Again, he thought a minute, grinned & said, "This could be taken two ways, but, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'"

It's a work night

I have to work tomorrow, so why am I still up at 12:32??? The kids (DM/A) are here, I've got a kitchen full of dishes that need to be done & I don't sleep well at night. So... that's a reason to stay up??? Nah. I don't think so.

Last night I was up until 3:40. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone. I was reading a book & it wasn't the scriptures.

Don & I text each other every night. Sounds funny huh? Did you know we are separated? Not legally. Just that I live with Mother across town & Don lives at our house. He told someone that I went home to Momma.

They (Don-Mike & Don) have started tearing into the downstairs. It looks funny with no furniture, pieces of carpet pulled up & bare studs. Amber's been helping.

Remind me I need to get the money so they can start buying materials to finish it. Don said when they tore into the walls, the space between the walls went right down into the crawl space. Mother said it wasn't constructed very well. Don said no that wasn't what he was saying. Back in the early 1900s they weren't concerned about insulating the walls.

Gratitude day 10

I am grateful for an education, so I can read. Reading is as necessary to me as breathing.

But this afternoon I took a nap. Naps are not something I should take. Now, my bedtime will be off & it takes me forever to recover from a nap. 

And Little Lizzie ('99 Malibu) is sick. Don made an appt. for her to go to the clinic (garage) Friday morning. I just hope I have enough money to pay for it. No heat, new battery, can't remember what else they said. Nick took her up to NAPA while I was taking my nap. Don-Mike asked me to go get a refill with him & asked me what was going on with the car. I told him, but it wasn't very coherent. Then I asked him if he was as confused as I was. Of course he was. I told him he would have to ask his dad & Nick, because I don't know.

Do what you can

More thoughts from ReadTheScriptures.com

"Remember, tomorrow is connected with today, and what we do with today determines the tomorrow."
--Marvin J. Ashton, "The Time Is Now", Ensign, May 1975, 85

Very thought provoking. Not something I want to expound on, just want to find it for future reference.

And another one:

Please don't nag yourself with thoughts of failure. Do not set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. Simply do what you can do, in the best way you know, and the Lord will accept of your effort."
--Gordon B. Hinckley, "Rise to the Stature of the Divine within You," Ensign, Nov. 1989, 94

Reading The Book of Mormon is a goal I actually thought I could achieve, but reading 144 books in 1 year?? That is actually "far beyond my capacity to achieve."

I am enjoying the Kindle4PC that I downloaded from Amazon.com I enjoy reading books on the computer. I can make the words bigger for my "old" eyes.

Everyone says how wonderful conference was this time. I didn't even listen or watch it, my bad. But, I'll read it, or watch it online. A Facebook friend, Muriel Garvis, posted this about conference:

Yes, and you can see all the conference as they keep an archive. Just go to the church web site. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Right on the front page you can see the video stream. You may have to download the program they suggest but it was so good. There are actually lots of other videos that the church puts out on this site.

Kindle4PC

I know I've told you about the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation, a couple whose daughter has SMA. When I checked their blog the other night the entry was "Kindle for a cause." As I was reading the entry I thought, "That's nice. I don't have a Kindle." Then at the end of the entry it said that you don't need a Kindle, it can be downloaded onto your PC or iPod. Now, I was actually thinking iPod. They had provided a link to Amazon. I couldn't find where I could download it onto my iPod, but I did download Kindle for PC. It's free! Then I bought the book, Not A Fire Exit for $1.99. All proceeds went to the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation if you bought the book on March 7th and 8th.

Not A Fire Exit, Christopher Finlan (2009), 4 stars 3 stars, mystery/ fantasy

2010-reads, fantasy, kindle4pc, mystery, own, read

Here is my review from Goodreads: This was riveting & a good read. I don't have a bookshelf for medical fantasy, but it is. The good doctor reminded me of Dr. Who.

I should wait to review the books I read. While I liked this book & think the story is great, there were things I didn't care for. OK, so I'm a prude, but I did not like the sexual innuendos. I don't know if I'll ever be able to enjoy a KitKat again without thinking of this book. I don't even know if I should mention the language, I've heard worse. The constant "domestic squabbles" wore me down. The characters seemed one-dimensional. Such as she's discussing her "case" at a counter in a café. They were sitting at the counter because it was too busy for a table or a booth, yet I got the feeling there was no one around them.

Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) is a real disease, a terminal one. The details were portrayed accurately. I like the way the author wrapped his story around those details. I like the way he is using proceeds from this book to go toward research for SMA.

OK, back to the blog.  I originally gave this book 4 stars. But, perhaps the fact that I'm reading my scriptures again has made me a little more sensitive to the language & such. I struggled in writing my review last night. I should have just given up & waited til morning. I lay in bed this morning, still thinking about the book. I decided I'd been too generous on my rating. I wrote what I didn't like about it on an index card so I wouldn't forget by the time I got to the computer to make my observations.

RS special interest group

"Filled with his love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others."
--Elder John H Groberg, "The Power of God's Love", November 2004 Ensign pg. 9

Another quote from Read the Scriptures.com

I'm off to another reading group. This time at a neighbor's house. They're reading something about Abraham Lincoln. I didn't read the book, just found out about the group at the first Let's Talk About It.

Still reading

I blogged about signing up to participate with the reading program at the Larsen-Sant Library here. The program is sponsored by the Idaho Commission for Libraries & is appropriately named Let's Talk About It. The theme this year is "You Are What You Eat." The committee chose 5 out of a possible 8 books to read this year.

The first one was Choice Cuts by Mark Kurlansky. Interesting non-fiction book. I had a hard time reading it. I am not even halfway through it. I've still got a month to read it though.

Dustin Crawford, a professor from Utah State University, led the discussion. He said this is not a book to read page by page, but to skip around in. If I skip around in it, can I say I read it?

There is a recipe is for Chicken Intestine Omelet. It even tells you how to prepare the chicken guts to make it.

Crawford is originally from Paris, Idaho. His mom was there that night & I discovered she was with Don's Grandma Mildred when she died. I've heard of Jeri Crawford for years. G-ma Mildred used to take care of Jeri's handicapped daughter.

The next book is Climbing the Mango Trees, a memoir.That discussion was held Wednesday night, Feb. 10. I didn't finish this book either. Another fascinating discussion, this one led by a lady prof, also from USU, I think. I had a hard time relating to this book as I don't have lots of "close" relatives. And, again, the foods are not something I would eat.

I do enjoy the discussions though. I feel like I've come a long way to be able to attend these discussions without having a panic attack. I even participate in them. I have to sit on the back row though, so I can "escape" if I need to. I like to get there early so I can sit where I want to, LOL.

War zone?

Sunday, Jan. 17, was the first time in a long time that I didn't have to go in to work. Vicki Atkinson came back to work Friday. It was so nice to have her back.

So, I stayed at Mother's longer than I usually would. Don-Mike came home earlier than usual. He pulled out his M*A*S*H collection & stuck a DVD into watch. He received the whole collection for C-mas 2008. He was really surprised. I would love that collection, but it's a little pricey.

M*A*S*H was the only TV show I watched for years. When I was pregnant with the boys, I watched it at least once a day. I was put in the hospital about 4 weeks before my due date for 3-4 days with each boy. I had to have the door to the hall closed & I couldn't watch TV. I did, however, watch M*A*S*H. I couldn't read either because my eyes were so blurry from the toxemia. After the boys were born & they were brought in to my room to feed, M*A*S*H came on. Both boys turned to the TV set when the theme song came on.

Anyway, this particular episode was episode 7 from season 3, "Checkup." It aired Oct. 22, 1974, so I obviously didn't see it the first time around, because in October 1974 I was in Bloomington, Minn., on my mission. I caught it several times in reruns, but I have never related to it like I did that night.

Everyone had to have a checkup. Trapper John refused to have a checkup. He confided to Hawkeye that he had diagnosed himself with a  "duodenal ulcer." Supposedly an ulcer was a ticket home. The ulcer was confirmed. A farewell party is set up. Just as the party is starting, Radar breaks the news to Trapper that there is a new Army regulation. He is not going home, but going to Tokyo General for treatment, then will be reassigned.

Trapper is understandably upset & rants to Radar, "This place GAVE me the ulcer!" To which Radar softly confides, "It gave me the runs."

I laughed, but here's the sad thing. They are in a war zone, in a mobile Army surgical hospital, sometimes behind enemy lines, patching broken bodies, under enemy fire & sometimes friendly fire. Stress gave them an ulcer & the runs.

So, what is my excuse? I could rant right along with Trapper about my own home & family, "This place GAVE me the ulcer!" And I can confide right along with Radar, "It gave me the runs." Is my home a war zone? Sometimes I feel like it is. Sometimes I wonder if my problem is simply post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.

However, I've developed a new coping mechanism to go along with the runs & the ulcer. My old nemesis, the migraine headache, is back. I'm hoping it's just the low pressure from the inversions we've been having this winter that is bringing on the headaches again.

I snagged this picture from cachevalleydaily.com I'm sure it was a red burn day, but it gives new meaning to "yellow" burn days.

Getting lost in a book helps me to zone out. I need to get through these non-fiction books though, so I can enjoy being transported to another place & time.

Reading, reading, reading

I've been reading in The Book of Mormon every day. Yesterday at work I had to change desks & am now back in the editors' office. Not my favorite place to be, sigh, but necessary. I had nothing to do, wonder of wonders, & so I checked out the books on the shelf on my desk. I found this really cool book called Creative Typography. I also have a cookbook that I checked out from the Citizen. (There are several boxes of books, videos & CDs that are "demo only" & some advance reader copies.)

Today I stopped in at the library because I wanted to see where these 2 books fit in the Dewey Decimal system so that I could add them to my Dewey Decimal mini challenge. It almost looks like they are both in the 600 series.

While I was at the library I thought I'd get a schedule for their lecture series, Let's Talk About It, this winter for the calendar for the newspaper. Instead of just the calendar, I got a reading kit of 5 books. The topic sounds interesting, We Are What We Eat, food.

The lecture/discussion for the first one, Choice Cuts, is a week from Thursday. The book is going to be slow going. It's an anthology, billed as "A Savory Selection of Food Writing." There are 452 pages, so I broke it down into 56.5 pages a day.

I sat down this afternoon & made up 11-12 spreadsheets to keep track of my reading this year. I am reading three books at once, but don't think I'll make my 12 books this month. I keep trying to tell myself that if I just finish one mini challenge of 26 or 24 books or 2 of the 10 or 12 books, I'll be ahead of 2009.

I should be able to finish the Dewey Decimal challenge. The cookbook says it is 641.8 right by the ISBN number, so there is the 600 series. BOM will fit nicely in the 200 category, Religion. Creative Typography will fit in the 000 General Category under News Media, Journalism & Publishing. Choice Cuts can go in 800, Literature; and the biography I am reading will fit in the 900 category, Geography & History.

I have done my scripture reading, read at Choice Cuts & I have a headache. I'm going to take my meds & go to bed early.

Vote for Gwendolyn Strong Foundation

Chase Community Giving is donating $5,000,000 to charities around the USA. Facebook users are voting for the recipients! Round 2 of the voting is open. Please vote for Spinal Muscular Atrophy or SMA. Number 1 genetic killer of children under the age of 2. This research will help Parkinson's, ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease, spinal cord injury & many others.

Right now we are in #4 position out of 100. Bill, Gwendolyn's father, posted this on their blog: 

One thing is for certain -- $1 Million means more to SMA than to any other cause. SMA is vastly underfunded yet research is on the verge of changing science FOREVER and $1 Million WILL make a difference. SMA parents fundraise relentlessly under unfathomably challenging circumstances, but we simply can't whip up $1 Million on a whim. But, we can NOW!

If you are a Facebook member, please take this opportunity to vote for SMA. There is a button in the sidebar here on my blog that you can click to take you right to the page, once you have logged into Facebook.

I have been following the Gwendolyn Strong blog for several months. Most children don't make it to their 2nd birthday. Gwendolyn turned 2 in October. She has already beat those odds. 

Every second of every day we operate on a ridiculously high level of anxiety, alertness, awareness, and readiness -- even when Gwendolyn is perfectly healthy. We have to, as she can literally plug and stop breathing, as she has several times over the last few weeks and countless times over the last two years, at any second with zero warning, no signs, and no way to tell us (we literally have to be watching her 24/7). And when we see even the slightest signs of change in anything, and I mean absolutely anything, it sends us into a new stress galaxy altogether.

Posted by Bill, Sept. 12, 2009

On another note, I finished "A" is for Alibi. If you are following my blog & all of a sudden the entry with all the tickers for my reading challenge for 2010 comes up, it's because I couldn't remember the password for the Alphabetically by Title ticker, argh, so I had to make a new one & repost it.

My next book is a biography about Jessica Lynch, the young soldier who was held prisoner in 2003, I Am a Soldier Too.

Trust in the Lord

Remember when a man's word was his bond? Now, they look you in the eye & lie. When reminded of what they said, it's suddenly YOUR fault that they didn't keep their word??? So sad.

I wrote the above on Facebook as my "status." Eddie promised he'd come over today, Sunday, & get some big thing on Runescape. Which I thought was only fair. Nick has paid for Eddie to have a paid account too many times for me to count. Well, Eddie ended up at another friend's house & got the level or cape or whatever. Don asked Eddie on chat about it & Eddie immediately started bashing Nick. Can we say, been there, done that? This time it was Don, not me.

Nick was hurt. He wanted to know what he could do. I told him nothing. We didn't want to give Eddie the satisfaction. I told Nick that Eddie's word means nothing. He will look you in the eye & lie. But he will come when he wants something.

So, what does this whole sad scenario have to do with the title? I learned long ago that if a person makes Jesus Christ the center of their universe, He doesn't leave you, you leave Him. I wish I could have done a better job of teaching Nick that principle.

Now, onward & upward. Look forward, not back? But, the important thing is to learn from your mistakes. I hope Eddie's lack of integrity doesn't sour Nick on friendship.

OK, a baseline for weight is in order. If I'm going to lose 30 pounds this year. I need to start. According to Mother's scale, I weighed 175 after dinner tonight. That's higher than I want to admit. I also admit it was a bad time to weigh, but hey, it's when I thought about it. It also gives me a cushion, hehe.

According to my calculations, I can lose 1 lb. every 12 days to reach my goal of 30 lb. by Dec. 31, 2010. Now, my goal weight is 135, but 30 lb. is certainly a start. If I get serious about this, I may have to change my little New Year's Goal graphic.

I am proud to announce that I stepped out in faith & read 1 book today, tonight actually. I picked up Jack Weyland's book Brianna, My Brother & the Blog. I absolutely loved it. It was a quick read, but it was what I needed & I finished it by 11:30. I gave it 5 stars. I cataloged it in "Alphabetical by Author Last Name." So, W is checked off.

Evidently the bishop has given our ward members a goal to finish The Book of Mormon by Memorial Day. Just saw that today on the Sacrament meeting program. I've been thinking about using the scripture web site to help me with The Old Testament, since that is the course of study for 2010 in Sunday School. So, that is a dilemma, Old Testament or The Book of Mormon??

Reading: 1 book read (See ticker in the sidebar of the blog.)
Weight: 30 lb. to go

New Year's resolutions

I spent the day in bed today. I didn't even get dressed. I left the house once to go out to the car to see if I could find my Christmas book & to find the sack of meds I picked up from the pharmacy on Thursday. Even to do that I put on boots & a coat. Now, to most people that would be a no-brainer, but for me? That was a biggie. I've been known to run outside in the snow barefooted.

But if people die in bed, that's the best place to die. In your own bed. Why die in a hospital bed? I've had something sinus going on. Runny nose, that wouldn't stop. Dizziness, a cough, off & on. Headache. Aches & pains. Now Nick tells me he's had a sore shoulder for 2 weeks & I still haven't done anything about it. What do you do for a sore shoulder???

It's finally Saturday. I don't know what day it felt like, but it didn't feel like Saturday. Don had to work. They called Thursday or Friday & asked which day he wanted a no work for. It is, after all, January. And at RR Donnelly, January is just one big work-a-thon. They work every day. Since he had a choice, he took Sunday off.

I got up this evening & Don handed me a lawsuit that had just been served. We have five days from the receipt of this lawsuit to contact them & make payment arrangements. We've been served with 3 of them in the past few weeks, sigh. Merry Christmas!! Guess where Don's January overtime pay is going?

Well, on to happier things, new year's resolutions. These are my 2006 resolutions. Four years later & it doesn't look like things have changed.

1. I still need to lose 30 pounds
2. I really need to FACE our finances, argh! FACE is an acronym from FlyLady that means Financial Awareness Continuously Empowers
3. Declutter house, uh, ya!
4. Mother's affairs. I've been very poor steward of Mother's financial affairs, sigh.

Maybe I'll go back to bed. Sounds good to me.

So, in checking my email I found one from Guideposts Personal Change. When did I sign up for that newsletter? The subject was 6 Tips for Keeping Your New Year's Resolutions. Uh, ya, ok, let's see what I need to do to keep my resolutions.

This article is by Alex Ferreyra, sounds like Ferrari, but I don't think I'll try pronouncing Alex's last name.

1. Start early. Do you think 2006 is early enough??? I even started my 144 books in 2010 early too. "It's essential to make plans, not have good intentions."
2. Keep it real. Don't make "grandiose" plans. "Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint." Well, I know I can't lose 50 pounds by next week, nor can I get finances in order or read 144 books in a "nanosecond."
3. Be specific. "Vague resolutions beget vague attempts," University of Scranton psychology professor John C. Norcross, Ph.D. In other words I need to make a plan like I did for my 144 books, hmmm, food for thought.
4. Buddy up. It helps to have someone encourage you. Someone to keep you motivated. The reading group on Goodreads can help me with my reading goal. The weight loss forum on Parenting Bipolar Kids can help me with the weight & Clutterbugs can help me with my decluttering, as well as FlyLady on Facebook. Maybe, thinking aloud right now. I think Don & I had better buddy up on the finances.
5. Go for something new. If one way doesn't work, go a different route. Hmmmm, that's more food for thought.
   
6. Write what you sow. "Keep track of your highs and lows." As Norcross puts it, "Keeping a journal helps you measure what you're doing over time, which increases the success rate." So, my blog will become my "journal."

Hmmmmmmm,  OK!

Reading: Haven't even started, so 144 books to go.
Weight: 30 lb. to go
Declutter: The lawsuit just added another layer.
Finances: Sliding further down the hill
Mother's finances: No progress

A New Year's resolution (goal)

I just made a New Year's resolution. It's not even going to be a goal. It will be an ironclad rule. It's midnight. I was going to turn off the computer & was thinking about picking up a book.

I WILL NOT PICK UP A BOOK AT MIDNIGHT.

If the computer goes off at midnight, I go to bed. No books after 11:30 p.m. The other night I picked up a book & the next thing I knew it was 5 o'clock in the morning. Yes, that's right FIVE A.M.

I'm going to give the 144 books in 2010 challenge my best shot, but it will not be by reading all night.

Palm Sunday

Another day of General Conference, therefore no local church meetings are being held, thus a holiday for Don & I from the library.

Bedtime last night was - drum roll please - 11:30 p.m. Wake up time was 9:15. Nick woke me up, but I was laying there without the CPAP mask on my nose. He figured I was awake. My nose was so plugged up, I couldn't breathe through it, sigh. I haven't been taking my Zyrtec-D because Nick needs it & I've been giving it to him because Medicaid won't pay for Zyrtec. I guess I'll have to buy some OTC so we can both use it. My mouth was so dry. We're out of prilosec too. I've got to buy that also.

Now, for confession time. I was sitting on the bed, ready for bed at 11:30 p.m. I turned out the light at 12:30 because I finished reading an Anne Perry book, A Christmas Beginning. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's past due at the library & I need to return it. I have 2 other books out too. The librarian told me she couldn't renew one of them anymore. So, I need to read that too, or just bite the bullet & return it.

Don is finally doing our taxes. He needs a couple of things, but that's why I wanted the taxes done now & not April 15. I can look for them now, I've got a couple of days to do it. It's probably out in the basket of mail on the front seat of the car. I've been going to sort through it at Mother's.

Don-Mike's decided it's time to upgrade his daily driver. Nick found him a truck at Axtell Chevrolet in Logan. Speaking of dealerships, Tapper Motor in Montpelier has closed. Not that he was planning on checking with Tapper, but I remembered when he was talking about checking Hunzeker Chevrolet in Soda Springs.

Well, it's noon. Onward & upward, or in other words, I need to get up, take my meds, get dressed & go over to Mother's.

Lent, Day 18

Last night Don told me, "Well, it's official. I have the cold everyone's had." Well, tonight I can say the same thing. I have the fever to go along with the cough & stuffy nose. Of course, it didn't help that I didn't get to bed until almost 3 a.m. I found an advance copy of The Wednesday Letters in a box at work yesterday. I've looked in that box before, hoping to find one. I could never find a stopping place, so I just read until I was finished.

Today was DUP & I hacked & coughed. I had a Fisherman's Friend cough lozenge in my purse, so I took that out & used it. Yuck, it sure made the refreshments taste bad. I was naughty, I hadn't had a meal all day & was STARVED, so I ate all that sugar. Easter egg chocolates, frappe, cake with yummy pistachio frosting, sigh.

Anyway, I took a nap after DUP on Mother's couch. It was so HOT, I was sweating. Now, I just know that it was the "crud." I'll take my evening meds, some ibuprofen & probably another Fisherman's Friend, **shudder*** & head to bed - early.