Two places at once

Is there a name of the syndrome where you are needed in two places at once? If there is, I'm unaware of it. I have heard of the sandwich generation & that's probably what I'm feeling. I'm not part of the traditional sandwich though, my children are adult children, so I guess I'm technically part of the "club" sandwich. The club sandwich includes grandchildren, which isn't part of this particular sandwich.

I moved over here to Mother's so I could help her. The doctor said she has to have someone with her 24/7. She doesn't need skilled nursing at all times, but she needs someone to be with her. Don-Mike set up a twin bed in Mother's room, so Mother & I are roommies.

I told her when I came over, she can't call to me at night. When I lay down & take my hearing aid out ... Aid. Singular. I am deaf. Not only that, I lay on my good ear, because I can't lay on the other side. As someone said, trying to be funny, "You're deaf in one ear & can't hear out of the other." Exactly. Totally deaf in the left ear with no way to conduct sound if I had a hearing aid stuck in that ear. Without the hearing aid in the right ear I can't hear. Mother sleeps with a little flashlight. I suggested shining the flashlight on me. She flashes it around. I slept through it. I told her to take her cane & poke me. No, she doesn't do that. One night Don-Mike had been up with her twice & he was exhausted to begin the night anyway. He said he couldn't do this anymore. She would call out to me & Don-Mike would hear her.

She has become adept at playing a martyr.OMG, I'm here to help. But she doesn't ask for help, she just starts doing. I guess she's decided I can't hear, so she'll just have to do it herself. Right now I'm feeling pretty worthless.


Don & Nick bring their "discussions" over here. And those discussions can get pretty ugly. I'm not sure if it's for me to moderate or become part of.